Agrajag Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 6 months now and she's decided that she wants to take up dance lessons. I've suddenly become very unnerved by the idea since I really don't like the idea of her dancing with these other guys in a close way. I don't like dance at all and if I did I may just be her partner. I'm going to go nuts about this! Link to comment
sonjam Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Maybe you don't like dancing becouse you can't dance well. A good idea is to take up the classes with her, it will definitely do wonders for you as a couple, and you won't have to feel jealous. When worried about the relationship, the best thing to do is compromise. Link to comment
themysteriousone Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 well i know this isn't really the same but ive started dancing as an attempt to get closer to my friend. so like sonjam said if you go it will do wonders for you as a couple. Link to comment
Cecelius Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 How old is she? How old are you? Link to comment
themysteriousone Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 shes 15 im 16. why you ask? Link to comment
OldGuy Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 One of the best things I ever did for my relationship with my wife was take dancing lessons with her. I am not a graceful person, I only ever dance with her and I still can't waltz worth a flip. But, it makes her happy when we dance. She likes that I lead and she has to follow and taking the lessons together did a lot for us. Seriously, I can't tell you how much I wish I had taken dancing lessons as a teenager. If your girl is willing to have you learn with her, you should do it, even if you never do dance with anyone else. If you take dancing lessons with her you'll make her happy, and when you go dancing you'll feel good about how you look together. She will appreciate the fact that you did this with her when it was difficult for you. Plus, given your age, you may not stay in this relationship, so if it doesn't work our with her, you will be able to dance a little in social situations, which will make you more confortable in those situations. Trust me, if you take dancing lessons with her you won't regret it. Link to comment
11flower Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Frankly, I think this is a good social skill to have. I have never taken dance lessons and want to. This also builds confidence and helps a person just loosen up and have fun. Good for the soul and mood. So it's a healthful thing to do. Go for it! 11flower Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 It's fun, I used to take a lot of lessons - group and private - with a past boyfriend. My family are all huge into dancing (ballroom, latin) my sister has even been in movies for it. I loved it, but when my boyfriend passed away my heart was not in it anymore and I never ending up going back. I want to again one day perhaps. I still can dance if I have a good lead though. So go with her, you might find you really enjoy it! And yes she is dancing with other guys, but in structured classes there is a format to follow, they are not bumping and grinding And trust me, in the future, the ladies will LOVE ya because you can dance...your "dance card" will be filled up! Link to comment
marijo2480 Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Like others have suggested, go with her. Take lessons yourself so you too can have that under your belt. It's a nice escape! Link to comment
Agrajag Posted February 11, 2005 Author Share Posted February 11, 2005 She's taking them as a kind of stress release. Which is great. I don't want to take just out of the pure lack of interest. It's also very costly too. I don't think she even should just out of the fact it's $$$. I'm tight for money so what am I supposed to do. I barely eat enough let alone have money for something like that. Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 She's taking them as a kind of stress release. Which is great. I don't want to take just out of the pure lack of interest. It's also very costly too. I don't think she even should just out of the fact it's $$$. I'm tight for money so what am I supposed to do. I barely eat enough let alone have money for something like that. Then you don't have too, but if it is something she is going to enjoy, it is her choice to spend the money. I have some VERY expensive hobbies too (competitive mountain and road biking) meaning thousands a year on bikes, parts, trips, race fees. Yikes, in a month I am buying a new mountain bike for $5,000 (with a small savings though from that due to a discount) and last year I bought a new $3,000 road bike! OUCH! Once I add in all my other costs this year for fees, travel, etc, you are talking mega bucks! Yes it does mean money is even tighter, but it is incredibly important to me, and I am fortunate to have an understanding partner (who is involved in adventure racing/biking himself so understands!). In fact if he was NOT understanding, he would not be around very long! So, you don't have too of course, but don't withdraw your support for her doing it. Besides, you can take group lessons for cheap - $5-$6 bucks or so an hour long lesson. Or some bars have latin nights, where they teach you free lessons for certain dances every week. If she is on a budget, she can figure out a way to do it, even if it means saving elsewhere (such as eating out less, etc). Link to comment
Agrajag Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 The thing is I totally am not feeling good about the idea of her being with some other guy. I don't want to lose her to something like that. I can deal with her having lessons; I'm just terrified I'm going to lose her to some dance partner. Frick. I mean, they'll have a common interest that they're both strong about...dancing. Link to comment
justagirl20f Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 You're right. You may lose her to a dance partner. I'd say she shouldn't be allowed to take the dance lessons, and as her BF I'd tell her that you find it completely unacceptable. While you're at it, I'd make sure she has someone take her car to be filled with gas so she doesn't happen to fall into bed with the gas station attendant. Those pizza boys can also be heaps of trouble, so if she ever has a hankering for pepperoni, it had better be Delicio, not delivery. Monitor all other hobbies and activities she has... Does she like hanging out at the library? Make sure she goes with a chaperone. Does she walk her dog in the park? Not anymore, not while she is with you. She might meet someone with whom she has that in common... At school it should be straight to class and then straight home. She should, out of respect for her BF, surround herself with girls in class and there shouldn't be a boy within an arm's reach. Class trips are out of the question, as you never know what she and a male classmate might get up to when the teachers' heads are turned. Does she hold a part time job? If so, I'd take a trip over there and make sure she isn't working with anyone that makes you uncomfortable. If she's in a customer service business (i.e. store retail) make sure she doesn't leave you for one of her customers. Jeez, with all that worrying you're gonna be too busy to pay any attention to being with her, and making your relationship grow! In short, and very seriously, don't worry about her. She may leave you for her dance partner... Or a classmate, or the pizza boy, or someone she works with. If she does, she wasn't yours to begin with and you will find someone new. My passion is competitive horseback riding, and while my BF likes my horse he doesn't accompany me to the barn. I admit there are some REAL cute guys there (with nice horses to boot) and sometimes we flirt and laugh and take trail rides together. But my BF is where my heart is. If your GF loves and cares about you, dancing will be her stress relief and just that. Did my above suggestions seem borderline psychotic? Hopefully you see how unreasonable worrying about this is. Take care! Link to comment
Protex Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Just be careful that she doesn't think you are too intrusive and starts to play the whole 'I need space' card. Link to comment
I_love_rain_hugs_and_you Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 I sympathize with you!!! Of course I wouldn't like if I had a girlfriend and seh was dancing with another guy. But then again, I am guilty of being that "other guy." I take drop in dance lessons and dance with all sorts of girls. Its fun, but i wonder what thier boyfriends think about me dancing with thier girl. Hehehee. Some might not mind, but others might be mad. HEHEHEHEHE. Look, if you have solid relationship you won't lose your girlfriend to some dance partner. MOst guys can't dance.....I mean, I can't dance, and neither can most guys. THey are not going to steal your girlfriend. You two are meant for EACH OTHER!!!! But back to the discussion. I sort of feel guilty by dancing with other guys' girlfriends. But then again, if the guys actually weren't lazy or sissy they would come to the dance lessons and dance with their girlfriends so I would have to be thier partner. But even so....i still get to dance with thier girflriend..hehehehhehehehhhehehehehehehehhehehehehehehe Link to comment
mt_joy Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 If you absolutely cannot take them with her (which she would loooove), ask her to teach you! Link to comment
I_love_rain_hugs_and_you Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 If you absolutely cannot take them with her (which she would loooove), ask her to teach you! ---thats good advice!!!! Have dance lessons with her in your home. And she can be your teacher. I am sure she would love that!!! Link to comment
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