misscarring

[chelsie]

hi i misscarred i was almost 4 months prego it is the hardest thing i i need some words of advice cause i dont know how to let this go

[PrincessLinzay]

Awwwwwwww hun, >

 

I've been there myself, and it's not easy at all. I can't say there's some magic words of healing, it hurts a lot. Thoughts of what could have been.

 

The good news is that it was not your fault, it's a natural occurrence and does not decrease the chances of your getting pregnant in the future.

 

Hang in there, and pm me anytime if you need to talk to someone.

[Jimbo10]

Well, I can't miscary, so I won't claim to know where your at, but I have something to say

 

My cousin miscaried twice in a row. It was the saddest thing. Not just for her, but her husband, and the entire family.

 

BUT.... it didn't mean she wasn't able to have kids! She was too sad, and put off for almost a year, but tried a third time. Well, child number 1 came along, happy and healthy. The next year, number 2, and all the way to 4 happy babies (all under 5 years old, ouch).

 

I really can't say I personnally know what it's like for your right now, but I have experienced more than my fair share of loss in only 17 years, and like anything, you improve at dealing with it.

 

So here is what I now know. Family is the best thing you'll ever have. The love between a good family is the single most powerful bond in the universe, and we all should use it to our advantage, I hope you do. Anouther thing, maybe obvious, especially to women but...just let it out. I lost both my grandfathers, then my great grandfather to completely unrelated causes in less than 10 months. After my great grandfather died, I stopped bothering trying to keep my composure for about 2 days, i basically just let it out and greived. It makes you feel better inside. Showing yourself you care as much as you believe you should does something great .....i dont know what. That probably doesn't give you any new advise, but that's the true way.

 

There is no short-cut around grief, and no easy way out. We all deal with it differently, but we should always remember family, and never try and hold it all inside, no matter how strong you are trying to look for yourself, your spouce, or whomever. Anyway, that's my advise on greiving and moving on. Family, and not holding back until you snap.

 

If you can't think of anyone else, or just want my opinion on anything, PM me.

Truly sorry for your loss.

Best regards

Jimbo

[chelsie]

yes it is hard to think of what could have been it is so upsetting to know that in the summer i would have had a baby but i look at it as it is better to have happened this way then to have something really wrong with the baby in the future, but my family has helped me alot i just needed advise cause it is something that i really dont know how to deal with it to well.

[HeavenLee]

Hi Chelsie,

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I do know what it's like, and I was very young like yourself. The thing that got me through was believing that everything happens for a reason. It's not your fault, it's no one's fault, as PrincessLinzay said, just a natural occurrence. Maybe your body was not ready, and maybe like you say, it was to prevent further complications.

 

I know it's hard to let it go. Just make sure that you don't bottle up your feelings. Let yourself go through all of the grieving emotions, but then realise that you are young and will have plenty more chances, and the time will be right. You are lucky that you have good family to help you through. You will be okay.

 

I wish you all the very best, and remember that everything happens for a reason... sometimes we may not understand them, but they are there nonetheless.

[chelsie]

ya i think everything happens for a reason. but it seems like icry to much and i don't want to but it is like everything reminds me when i was in the hospitail i am glad my boyfriend put baby stuff awaw. is it normal to not want to try again???? to have a baby i just dont think i could go through this again

[Eb0la]

I you baby

 

 

[chelsie]

you to

[raggamuffin]

This is one of the hardest things that a woman could ever deal with. It is not like anything else, the feelings are awful and there are so many. My only advice is I think you should talk to a professional who can help you ease the pain, I know your family are really good but sometimes it is the influence of an outside person that can make a difference and suggest ways that you can deal with it now so it doesnt affect your future pregnancies/babies. It is natural to be feeling the way you are feeling but it is best if you can deal with it once and for all now.

[chelsie]

ya alot of ppl told me the same thing to see someone about it and i have been thinking about it i think it would help me..

[HeavenLee]

Hi again Chelsie. I would think that it is perfectly normal to not want to try again straight away. You have just been emotionally and physically scarred, and no one could expect you to quickly bounce back from that. Give yourself time to heal your grief before you even think about wanting to try again, otherwise you will always be on edge.

 

It's okay to feel this way, and to cry. Time will help you through, as will talking about your feelings.

 

Hugs to you!

[chelsie]

ya i know thanks for the advise

[justagirl20f]

It might help to think that perhaps this baby was unhealthy to begin with, and this was nature's way of preventing an unfit child from being born. Through no fault of your own, and some genetic misshap, this may have occurred. I know my BF's sister had the same thing happen and she was devastated. But 2 beautiful babies later, she's very happy and can't help but wonder if this was a blessing.

 

So take care of yourself, and don't blame yourself. Hugs.