Girlfriend need to calm down

[dio9366]

So we have been dating for one and half year, so this is quite a long tern, intimate relationship. She even talks about getting married and have kids.

 

During this time, we fought quite a few times. The problem mostly because of communication or idea differences. she tend to hide her reason of being angry and expect me to feel for her.

When she was showing her childish temper instead of communicating with me , I tend to walk away or keep distance every time we fought.

 

Maybe she thinks that every time we fought it is always her problem and I am always stay upper handed. This time we fought over some small unimportant matters she said to me she need to calm down and she doesn't want to see me temporarily. I was quite surprise when she told me that.

 

After two weeks of no contact, I messaged her and told her I have something to tell you and got two free movie tickets, she replied that she cannot watch movie with me, then ask me what is it I want to talk about

and does it require meet up? I hasn't reply to her yet.

 

should I set up a meeting with her? or tell her I am busy and will get back to you later? What is the best way to deal this situation? Thank you!

[dio9366]

To sum up:

 

I invite her to watch a movie and also wanted to tell her something.

 

She said she cannot watch movie with me, but ask me what is it I want to tell her. Does it require meet up?

 

Basically I want to get her back but she is the one engaged no contact and refuse my invitation, so what is the best way to deal this situation?

[SophieGrace]

Figure out what issues are coming up for you in this relationship and own them. For example: "I am sorry I shut down every time we have a fight. I do this because I feel insecure/scared/threatened (fill in the blank) because I don't understand why you are upset. What can I do to make you feel safe to communicate?"

 

Once you figure this out for yourself - why you act the way you do when you are triggered and you are willing to accept responsibility for that, you are on firmer footing to have a real conversation with this girl about why you do what you do and what you need from her to feel connected.

 

Then, and only then, suggest a meet up. Otherwise it will be more of the same.