will he do the same to me??

[ali38]

when i met my partner he told me he was married.we met last march and began an affair and fell deeply in love.he left his wife last sept.and moved in with me.he told me from the start i wasn't the first one he has been with behind his wifes back, and that he hadn't loved her for a long time.

we are very much in love but i have fears that he will do the same to me as he did to her. i have told him my fears and he tries to reassure me but these fears eat me up inside sometimes and i worry about losing him because i love him so much.maybe someone out there is in or has been in the same situation as me? and can understand

[sonjam]

Im sorry to say, but the fear you have is a very real one.

 

Remember, he didn't just end up married to somoene he never loved. (if he's telling you this he's a liar too).

 

He obviously loved her enough once to marry her, and then when he lost interest, or things got rough, he cheated on her, and you are not the first.

 

You have no guarantees that he would not do this to you.

 

I always say, the first time is the hardest, after that it get's easier and easier (to cheat)

 

Good Luck.

[sonjam]

Im sorry, I read my post, and realised it is very gloom. It is becouse I don't approve op married people cheating. But that is not the point.

 

But what I also want to tell you, is I believe in trust and communication in a relationship. Don't compare yours with those he had previously, becouse your dynamics might be different from his others.

 

If you are able to build trust between the two of you, and have good communication, and talk to him about your fears (don't accuse or fight), then you will have a sporting chance of making this work, as with any other relationship!

[Iwanthim]

I am sorry. But once cheater once one. I believe that very strong. I do have to say wow he told you the first time that he was marry was kinda shocking. I do give him credit. If he did it to her why would he stop for you.

[sasha12]

when guys cheat, for the most part it is due to something that is missing in their relationship. I believe that if you keep your guy happy he will not stray off ( if he is trustworthy) on the other hand there are some guys I consider players ( untrustworthy) the ones who have no concience at all. But remember this, most most important..... he had a affair with you while he was with his wife. He had a secret life that he had kept from her. He lied to her to be with you. He is secretive and a liar.

[sasha12]

ali, i was in the same situation and it ended up with bad results I'm not saying that your guy will do the same to you. But you can pm me if you like.

[sasha12]

ali, i was in the same situation and it ended up with bad results I'm not saying that your guy will do the same to you. But you can pm me if you like.

[lostBG]

The guy will probably cheat on you too. For me, this person is not worthed. If you're unhappy with your wife, devorce her, and after that have all the freedom you want and may be you'll find the right one. Cheating while married shows a lack of responsibility and values(the ones that will help you create a new happy family). Sorry to say it but I think that you're kind of the same person like him. The fact is that fears like the ones you have will never go away and your relationship is doomed. Think about it, explain that to the guy, get your head straight and find somebody else to live a happy and trusted lifetime with. That's my honest opinion based on the fact that he's done it with many other women before you. Good luck and I hope that everything works out for you.