Passion VS All other good qualities?

[aries]

If all of you had to decide: Could you go on with a relationship with a great person who was caring and loving ...yet there was NO PASSION?

[justagirl20f]

While of course choosing one over the other isn't ideal, and my suggestion is to settle down when you've found both, if both is what you need to be happy, that doesn't answer your question...

 

I'd say I'd take someone who's loving and treats me like gold over someone with whom there is intense passion, hands down. Of course if the person is both passionate and loving, you have the perfect combination. But to have passion without the other half of the equation sets you up for heartache down the line. I think "passion" can be blamed for many heated affairs in relationships where there was less love and respect.

 

Just my opinion. BTW, I have been following your threads from the start.

[sonjam]

Passion, is distinctly different from LOVE.

 

But I know that some people can't live without passion in their lives...even if it means giving up the opportunity of love. I think it is up to you.

 

I chose steady, good natured, caring and loving, and I eventually came to love him, with a deep heatfelt kind of love, one that could last forever, I know it was not built on an initial feeling, so the feeling I developed is something much stronger.

 

But love comes differently to everyone. My friend always tells me she has to feel that butterfly feeling in her stomach, and have sweaty palms about a guy, otherwise she can't be bothered, then she'd rather just be friends with him. She let a few great guys go becouse of that!!!

[aries]

Hello all....thanks for the replies.....I still engourage others to join in.

 

I do have one question: As you say...love is great and all. But what do you do if you have the love and caring ......but there is no romantic/sexual connection or stimulation between the two partners. Would love and caring still outweight passion?

[Comfortably Numb]

Passion is really lust, and it's often mistaken for love when you're young. Sadly, passion/lust rarely lasts. After 4-6 months, it's usually gone. If you don't have a good foundation (i.e. love, friendship, understanding, etc.) the relationship is doomed to fail. Personally I'd choose a stable relationship with love over a passionate love affair that would most likely crash and burn.

[lady00]

I believe that you can have both...don't settle for less than what you want.

[AN2004]

When my last g/f dumped me, this is what she stated..."We have everything, but it just lacks the passion" I just couldnt understand it, as we had been together for 6 years, and good friends (i.e. I thought I had enough love for both of us) Now 8 months removed from that, you both need both the passion and the love to make things work.

[aries]

AN2004:

 

question.....so you say....7 month removed..........do you NOW see it the same way as she had mentioned? Does the passion need to be there as along wiht everything else?

[mazurka]

Passion is a temporaray feeling which is driven by excitement, the unknown and a whole host of other transient factors which culminate to create this state if mind.

 

It is unrealistic to expect passion to continiue at the same intensity and frequency throughout the course of a long term relationship.

 

Passion in a relationship will hide at some times but the love and respect and trust between two people will cause the realtionship to endure until the feeling of passion returns, in whichever way.

 

It may be months, it may be years, it may take a life changing event, but the love and respect and trust between two people is what really counts.

[AN2004]

AN2004:

 

question.....so you say....7 month removed..........do you NOW see it the same way as she had mentioned? Does the passion need to be there as along wiht everything else?

 

Yeah, I would have to agree with her on that note..needing the passion. We had some other issues, but since then I have gone out with a couple women, who have it all for me, but its just not all there for me. It took me that to really figure it out ( on that issue) Its very hard not to slip back into that...even though I understand it with my ex, I am going through some rough times right now trying to figure the same thing out with another woman.

[aries]

Sorry for asking AN2004.....but maybe we are in the same boat...so if i may......what exactly is it that u are trying to figure out wiht other women? You mentioned other issues....so i want to be sure that you dont mean those.

 

So Now that you have grown ....what is your take on the whole passion/emotional stability thing? Do you think it is possible to find both....or is it one or the other?

[AN2004]

Sorry for asking AN2004.....but maybe we are in the same boat...so if i may......what exactly is it that u are trying to figure out wiht other women? You mentioned other issues....so i want to be sure that you dont mean those.

 

So Now that you have grown ....what is your take on the whole passion/emotional stability thing? Do you think it is possible to find both....or is it one or the other?

 

I just think that you need the passion and the other stuff will come. I have come to realize without the passion you might as well be dating your sister. The issue is that it has to be a two way street, in my situation I was in love and had the passion (or so I thought) and she wasnt that into the whole thing. When you are in a relationship its sometimes hard to see that the passion/love thing sometimes is more of a comfort thing and not really what it seems to be. I really do think you need to find both to be truly happy, and it needs to be from both sides and be real.

 

As for what the other issues are, it seems that I am my own worst enemy, I can see all of this in my ex realationship, but I cant seem to accept it when this new girl is telling me the same thing. So, my advice. to you and I guess myself is to really take things slow, and see if what you want is there, and dont settle for anything less. Sometimes its very hard to accept others feelings, when you might feel very differently. It might be very lonely ( I am pretty damned lonely at times) but do you want to be in something that could end at any moment?