Two Guys.....Need to do Something Soon

[Colls]

I have two guys in my life and I dont know what to do because I like them both. The first guy is my boyfriend, who lives accross the country adn I have never met. We have been on and off for almost a year and i love him, but its hard to not see someone or to have never met him. Plus he has 2 children and would never be able to move here and I dont ever see myself moving there. The second guy is the one who lives here and who I also like ALOT. He has told me that if I break up with my boyfriend that he would love to go out with me.

 

Im so confused because I love my boyfriend and dont want to hurt him, but me and the new guy seem to be more compatable and at least have some long term potential. In a way I want to break up with my boyfriend because then he will also be able to be happy with someone closer to him, even tho I hate to think of him with anyone else. I just dont know how to go about doing it, because I know anyway i break it off with him is going to hurt him. Also he holds grudges and may never talk ot me again.

 

How do I tell him that I need a break, but that I still want to keep in touch because I honestly dont know how I would live without him even as my friend. I dont want him to resent me adn never talk to me again. Is there anything I can do? And by the way, he knows about the other guy and he asks why he calls me and spends time with me, and I shrug it off, even though I feel terrible when I do.

[Caldus]

Two things:

 

1. Only you know whether you want to be with one guy or the other.

2. In the end it is important that you are with the right guy. Yes, your current boyfriend will be hurt if you break up with him but you have to go with your gut feeling about who is the right guy for you and then stick with it.

[Mun]

Hello Colls,

You know you want to break up with your long distance guy and in reality it is probably the best thing to do since you don't see a real future with him. (He has never come to meet you.. that in itself is not a good sign)

 

I think it's best to just be direct and honest with him. He may not want to keep the friendship, but if he can hold a grudge and stuff like that do you really want him in your life? Plus, you are going to be involved with someone else.. it's only fair to give this new relationship your whole attention.

 

There is no easy way to break up, it's just one of those things you have to do and hope for the best.

 

Good luck

[DivineNess]

If you do break up with the guy you are with and he does hold grudges like you say you do, you should just give him him some time and space and let him deal with his emotions. If he cares for you he will eventually come around and want to have you as part of his life even if its just as friends. Realistically speaking he should understand why you want to break up with him. How can a relationship with two people that have never met continue, knowing that you will probably never meet? The best part of being in a long distance relationship is knowing you will eventually see that person and you guys don't have that.

[FleX]

The second guy is the one who lives here and who I also like ALOT.

 

Be realistic. Relationships are supposed to be physical as well as mental. You current BF is holdin you back because he is not physically around. Meanwhile you have this guy that you like alot who can be there for you. Don't rush into it... It's not about being selfish. It's about making the right decision.