Help on convos

[talib101]

Im pretty bad at conversations. Is it because of my age or because i havnt had alot of expericence. Can some give me any tips on what to do to be better at them.

[incredble]

Is it because of my age or because i havnt had alot of expericence.

 

same thing

 

Im pretty bad at conversations. Can some give me any tips on what to do to be better at them.

 

tip: dont talk to much about ur self.

[striderhiryu81]

Hi talib101,

 

You are probably correct in that a lack of experience has something to do with a lack of conversational skills. Or maybe you are just a shy person, but since you are asking for help I don't think that these will be problems for much longer.

 

I used to have lots of trouble starting up conversations but now its as easy as tying my shoelaces. One trick I use is not really worrying about what to say, just being friendly and saying "Hi". If you are in a place where there are lots of new faces, you could simply smile at someone from accross the room, or if you are in a school setting you could ask the girl or guy next to you if you could borrow a pen. If they say yes, then as they are handing it to you, just say "Thanks...by the way I'm talib101". You would use your real name though, of course.

 

After you give them your name, smile and wait for them to return the favor by telling you theirs. Work very hard to remember it. A memory trick is to repeat the persons name in a sentence right after you hear it.

If the person says "Hi talib101, I'm Robert", then you could say " Robert? Its nice to meet you Robert!"

 

By asking the name first, you make sure that you heard it correctly. By saying it in a sentence, you reinforce the name in your mind. Then to get a conversation started, just call them by name later on and ask simple questions like "How are you doing today?" or "What class do you have after this? Really? I had that class last year...who is your teacher?"

 

And so on....

 

You don't have to talk about anything important really, just little topics to get to know each other. Also, you can offer information about yourself like the fact that you "had that class last year".

 

I hope that this helps!

 

-Striderhiryu81

[Scout]

Have you looked at any of the topics on this forum, which is the Conversational Tips forum? There are tons of good posts that give lots of pointers on how to develop better conversational skills, and feel more at ease when talking with others.

[rvr350]

Try to listen. If you listen hard enough, you'll have all the tips you need to ask her. The more you try to listen, the more she'll like you. Girls like to talk about themselves, their friends, their music, their hobbies, their goal in life. All you have to do is ask an opening line? i.e. "So, what kind of music do you like?" and then just go from there...

 

Don't try to think too much, otherwise you won't be able to pickup the tips.

 

Hope it helped.

[lostlove]

relax and listen, but at the same time be attentative towards the conversation. don't just listen– show that you're listening by asking questions on and commenting on what the person you're talking to is talking about. show the person that you are interested in what they are talking about, and be open to them. look for any common interests to talk more in-depth about. and again, relax. remember, no matter how intimidating they may be, they're still human, just like you. nobody's perfect, and if you say something by accident or mess up, it's okay, just get right back up on your feet again and act natural. good luck!

[lkbillings]

I absolutely love meeting new people. There are several things I do to make the conversation run smoothly:

1. Introduce yourself, and shake their hand (FIRMLY!)

2. Smile and make eye contact

3. ASK QUESTIONS! Some examples- Where do you work? Where are you from?

4. More importantly, follow up with questions! How long have you been there? What do you do there?

5. Lastly, make sure you pay attention to his/her responses.

 

If you can engage someone, the rest of the conversation will follow. Good luck!

[MetalJoe]

Eye contact and a good smile are vital - even before you've said a single word to someone or even approached them. Keep both during a conversation.

 

I usually get the talk going with a question, then introduce myself. Snowboarding's my big passion and I meet a lot of people at my local slope or when I'm abroad: "Hey, how do you find that board? How long have you been riding?" and then "I'm MetalJoe" and shake hands with a smile and eye contact. I instruct part time so I have to meet lots of new people, most of whom are very nervous, find out all about them pretty quickly and remember their names. Not bad for someone who used to be terrified of talking to even one person, let alone a group!

 

Read up about body language as that's very important - subtly mirror people's posture to help with rapport, and don't force yourself into someone's personal space too early.

 

As has already been mentioned - ask questions and pay attention to what that person is saying. You can actually get away with saying very little to someone except a couple of good questions and they will leave thinking they've had a really great conversation with you.