When can you realize you will or will not build a serious 'relationship'?

[Yasminah]

All right. Many dates after you first see him, some are boring, some are fun; he likes you and you like him-and there seem to be good prospects ahead. Then you just stop and think: what if the whole thing disappears and there is nothing? What if it just ends for some stupid reason, or without a reason? How can you keep calm and just leave things smoothly flow, and be happy?

[Dcgent]

All right. Many dates after you first see him, some are boring, some are fun; he likes you and you like him-and there seem to be good prospects ahead. Then you just stop and think: what if the whole thing disappears and there is nothing? What if it just ends for some stupid reason, or without a reason? How can you keep calm and just leave things smoothly flow, and be happy?

 

Quit sabotaging your relationships. Live and let live.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's difficult to not obsess about it. But, recognizing that you are obsessing is a good start. Don't overthink things. Are you enjoying yourself? Then you're good to go.

[laninaperdida]

I think this process if different for men.

Men know (or think they know, lol) what will or will not work for them.

This explains all of those "Why did he end things out of the blue?" posts, you know?

There was something that made him realize you are NOT LTR... There WAS a reason, even if you don't kow what it is.

Women, on the other hand, are more likely to work with a guy because we have this destructive mentality that we can change a person.

 

I think the best thing you can do is determine what works for you.

Establish your own deal breakers or epiphanies, so to speak.

 

I, personally, will never date a guy who seriously (not just casually) dated a girl with kids when he was younger (21-25).

Why?

Because those years are supposed to be the best of your life & if a guy chooses a girl like that it means he's the type who likes projects.

This type is more likely to leave you for the next girl who "needs" him so I just stay away, lol.

I also won't date a guy if he has a f*ck pad.

Any man who throws $1,000/month into RENT is just out for a good time.

I'd rather date a guy living @ home than a bachelor simply because of where their head is @.

I also won't date a guy without a car.

It's not that I'm superficial, but I've been burned by the wheelless man way too many times.

Driving is a guy's thing & if that's taken away from him hi insecurity gets the best of him.

Also, I have a really nice man ride (a new Camero) & I feel like if a guy isn't my equal i the car department he feels emasculated.

Again, these are MY personal deal breakers or things I know to avoid.

 

I think if you rephrase your post and entitle it something like "When did you know it would or wouldn't work?" you'd get more of the types of answers you're looking for,

[Yasminah]

Lanina thanks-your post is funny and honest! I will try to change the title:subdued:

[Kendahke]

All right. Many dates after you first see him, some are boring, some are fun; he likes you and you like him-and there seem to be good prospects ahead. Then you just stop and think: what if the whole thing disappears and there is nothing? What if it just ends for some stupid reason, or without a reason? How can you keep calm and just leave things smoothly flow, and be happy?

 

Then it disappears and there is nothing.

 

It ended for a stupid reason. It ended for no reason.

 

You keep calm and just let leave things to flow smoothingly and eventually be happy because it will not kill you for a relationship to end. You get over it and move on.

 

This is the purpose of dating--to stomp toads so you can get to the prince.

[Heather Dawn]

$1000 a month in rent is very average - even low average - in most places, so I'm not sure that's good criteria.

 

Also, if he dated a single mother when he was young, couldn't that simply mean he was mature enough at that age to be able to handle that kind of responsibility?

 

And you'd rather date a man living at home than a single man living on his own?!

 

I feel like you have it all backwards...LOL.

[Rosebud]

$1000 a month in rent is very average - even low average - in most places, so I'm not sure that's good criteria.

 

Also, if he dated a single mother when he was young, couldn't that simply mean he was mature enough at that age to be able to handle that kind of responsibility?

 

And you'd rather date a man living at home than a single man living on his own?!

 

I feel like you have it all backwards...LOL.

 

Ha ha so true, I can see it from both perspectives.

 

As for the answer to the question. You don't know: that's life!