Officialy Dating

[-Perplexed-]

This girl who I really liked asked me to homecoming and then out on a date because I was shy. Though I was days from asking her to both.. or etleast I tell myself that. We have gone to two different movies and I have called her a couple of times where we talked for close to an hour before I had to go. We will sometimes have our arms around each other but when individualy asked if we are going out I said uh... I don't know and later heard thats what she said when someone asked her. I am 17/ senior in hs and this owuld be my first relationship. I don't really know what I am doing and while we aren't in any of the same classes I see her everyday. Wether its the hour before school or lunch etc. My brother however is in her class and he told me that she said I was confusing. What do I need to do as a next step etc?

 

Also there is a really annoying guy who everyone dislikes and he can't take a hint. He will call her / ask her out all the time and she makes things up. She doesn't like him at all but can't just tell him that. Sometimes she says "Help Me?" but I don't know if she is serious. Should I talk to him and tell him the truth or?

 

Thanks for the help.

[wanderer]

i was like you with my first girl. thus, my advice is this: stop being indecisive! girls don't like it when guys don't take charge of stuff, believe me , it was one of the reasons i got dumped. it's hard when you don't know what to do, but you must realize that the worst thing you can possibly say to a girl on a date is "so...what do you want to do?". most girls hate that kind of indecisiveness, so make sure you have a plan of what to do before you go out. also, when people ask you if you're dating the girl, please... say yes, because you are. especially when she's standing right there... say yes, with pride! you need to show confidence and pride, make her feel proud to be with you. from what i've noticed, girls like confident guys who can make decisions and be assertive, not passive. you were just like me, the trick is to not be like that, lol.

 

and about the other guy? be confident and go up to the guy. don't be a jerk, but let him know that you're not being casual or kidding about this, but yea, tell him you're dating the girl, and tell him that he should stop asking her out and stuff, because a) she's involved and 2) she's not interested in the other guy. i think you have every right to say that, and if she knows you talked to the guy, she'll be happy with you for sticking up for her.

[-Perplexed-]

Ok but she also said she didn't know if we were dating, though we were both asked at different times and haven't been asked while we been next to each other. So thats where I become confused as well. Today I walked in to class and heard my name, from what I pieced together someone had asked again and she heard that I said we were and that she didnt know. Someone told her I said yes but she said she didnt know if we were. The person she was talking to asked if I was shy. She didn't think so but I don't know. Maybe I mask it well and thats why she is confused.

 

I agree with you totally and I can see I already made mistakes but what can I do to show her and others that we are dating. Kind of confused.

[wanderer]

talk to her about this. it shouldn't be that awkward to discuss this with her, or at least nowhere near as awkward as trying to find an answer when people ask if you're dating her. yea, just be like "people keep asking me if you and me are dating, and i think we are because i really like you and i like to go out with you. what do you think?" this is good because you're 1) being assertive and not being indecisive over something that she may consider important, and b) by asking her what she thinks, you're opening the discussion to her so she can tell you what she thinks. plus, it lets her know you care about what she thinks. if she says she's not sure if you are actually dating, then go from there. if she says "yea, i'd say we're dating" then you're good to go and now you can both confidently tell people so when they ask you.

 

hope that helps... good luck, the first girlfriend is a real challenge, but definetly worth it.

[-Perplexed-]

Awesome thanks for the response. But I would like to be semi prepared if she seems hesitent / says no to that question. Then what heh?

[wanderer]

if she says no then just be cool with it. give her time to decide. until then, just tell people "no we're not dating" or maybe even "well, sorta" with a smirk on your face.

 

but dude, you're asking too much from a total stranger. i'm here to help but i can't predict everything... go with your instincts, be smart and make some decisions for youself, k? 8)

[ksk0_0]

Something like this happened with me and my first (still is), a bunch of my friends came up to me and kept asking "Are you going out with. ." etc. like a bunch of 5th graders. I told them 'yeah' (because we WERE going out) and they're reaction was all 'ohh you are! i KNEW IT' and crap, I told them to back off and stop acting like a bunch of 5th graders and firstly asked them 'you got a problem?'

 

I know it would sound pretty forward but it's how I approached it, and now they respect decisions about me and gf and such.