the have you been tested question?

[idontgetit]

ok...touchy question. how do you deal with starting with a new partner and discussing that whole past partner issue? as in, have you been tested? without it sounding completely demeaning and judegemental while still getting a straight answer??

[Joanne85]

This is a subject all new partners should have with one another, just tell your partner that you trust him/her but want to keep yourself safe and healthy. You always have to look out for number one ( which is yourself) avoiding the question is also avoiding the answer. So just be to the point about it, tell him/her you want to have a serious conversation about something that could effect both of your lives, then just ask. Wish you all of the best. Hope this helps if not sorry

[Day_Walker]

its simple you just ask it. When it comes to your safety if you have to come off bad then thats what you need to do.

[Switch187]

A good way to bring it up is to say that the both of you should take a test before you two take that next step. Even if you know your clean, it will show her that you want to make sure the both of you are "safe" for each other.

[ReadyorNot]

Can I just say PLEASE dont ask the question when the two of you are being hot and heavy....

 

My friends roommate came home from his girlfriends house just FURIOUS!!!! He was never so angry and hurt in his life... His gf asked him if had ever been tested while they were hot and heavy making out.

 

YOu dont ask when you are in the act of doing something like that.. you ask when the two of you are just hanging out

[tahlia]

I see your pint ready or not but its a hard topic just to bring up out of no where. It just seems like the right time to ask is before sex. He shouldnt get angry that she is asking, in fact if he didnt want it to be brought up at that moment then he should have dealth with it earlier.

[sprkal]

I'll never forget this... the time i asked my boyfriend I felt the same way you do... it was very difficult to ask because i was unsure how he would react. But i asked him, and he smiled and that he hadnt been tested but that he would (and he did go a few weeks later) and then he looked at me and said "I love you" for the first time. So I think all that went rather well!

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

ha ha! REadyornot you're friend has problems . Why do you think he was mad? Was it because she ruined the mood? I SERIOUSLY doubt it. It's probably because he wasn't tested and she didn't give him any .

 

But even if I'm wrong. Dont you think it would terribly persumptious to bring up a topic like std testing prior to sex? I can just see the conversation:

 

(While watching TV)

Girl: So have you been tested before?

Guy: Why? Am I finally going to get lucky tonight?

 

 

 

I think before you get too into it, but when it definitely seems like you're going to have sex is when you should ask.