What the Heck do Men mean when they say youre "intimida

[69_king]

Duh that's not me on the Avatar, it's a drawing, and the eye is pink. Sheesh.

 

Im not full of myself, but Im not going to sit there and complain about how ugly I am either. Too many people do that. If I don't know my own worth, no one else will either!

 

Now I shall defend myself against your onslaught! Sorry You stand up for yourself, thats a good thing.

 

anyway, thankyou for correcting me! I know the avatar is not you, I'm saying it is part of the overall image you put out. And, yeah, now that you point it out the eye does look kinda pink, but as I said I'm colour blind.

 

 

How to look more welcoming? Hmmm, thats a tough one, some people just look more welcoming than others. Its mostly body language. Like looking a guy dead straight in the eye all the time is a little unnerving.

 

Ultimately, there's isn't anything really wrong with you. Its the guys that have problems.

 

Oh, here's one more, may or may not apply to you: if you look a little sports jocky that kind of turns me off and maybe some other guys too.

[PrincessLinzay]

No problem 69_king.

 

Everyones entitled to their opinion, afterall, that's what these boards are for.

 

I can see how my SN and avatar would put out the image that I was conceited. In explanation, Ive been using that SN for everything for a little over 3 years now, and the avatar came from a website called link removed, I just thought it was pretty. The caption used to describe it was "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder".

 

Im not sporty, but I am tall. Lol. 5'9 and a 1/2. I don't slouch either, not ashamed of my height. This could probably contribute to being intimidating (although I don't look like Im going to beat someone up) Thank you for the input!

[DBL]

69_king

that would be like me calling myself "PrinceHunkalicious" and showing a picture of my bare He-man chest. (ok, maybe not quite, sorry, but you get the idea?)

 

Or that would be like calling yourself DBL.

 

RayKay...no offense taken.

 

Anyway...I just breezed through the thread, too much for me to read so i'm basing my answer on whatever I got from it.

 

Intimadating woman = woman with some issues.

I figure that woman either thinks she is God's gift to men or she is just carrying around baggage from a burnt relationship. I hear about this strong woman issues and stuff like that...it usually from woman who are single or can't seem to have a quality relationship. Woman like that I don't speak to, not because I'm intimidated, but because they aren't worth the time to deal with.

 

If some of the woman just mellowed out they would probably be surprised by the amount of nice guys they may meet. If you know you intimidate guys, then you know what your problem is.

 

DBL

[dreamweaverdude]

NOt that this article applies but it might shed a different view on some ideas

 

link removed

 

i still think for the most part it is not the women that are intimidating... I've met very few women that are truly intidimating by nature, but i have let several intimidate me because i either put them on a pedestal higher than they deserved and then somehow let them ..... 'push me' into things i'd otherwise maybe not want to do.

 

I think alot of it has to do with the guys personality as well.. I tend to be a very emotionally, touchy, feely kind of person with a big ole caring heart that usually gives stomped on.... hate to hurt anyone's feeling.. so i tend to allow some women to manipulate me more than i should. SO not sure how that plays into this thread if at all.

[Mun]

Hey Dreamweaverdude,

I read that article and to be honest with you I don't think I like the idea of my future boyfriend picturing me as a blue-haired grandma ...assuming he is intimidated.

 

I think it's sweet that you're an emotional, touchy feely guy, we need more like you

[DBL]

DreamweaverDude

 

Kindness is a weakness, of course woman will take advantage of that. Honestly the worse I treated a woman the more they liked me. Any woman I was nice to or tried to show some respect...just kicked dirt in my face.

 

DBL

[PrincessLinzay]

~DBL~

 

Honestly the worse I treated a woman the more they liked me.

 

Can we say......BITTER????

 

It's pretty sad that the women who like you will also tolerate your disrespect. Sounds like some GREAT ladies to be sure.... Honestly, it's no surprise that your relationships aren't working out, as you like to treat women badly.

[DBL]

There are guys that treat woman worse then me. I never hit them or done anything outrageous like that. You don't see me giving too much advice on how to make relationships work either.

 

Treat them like crap and they will love you forever. I'm not the one who invented this saying. I'm not all that bitter...there is just a lot of truth to that saying. I wouldn't expect a woman to agree with the saying, but doesn't mean it is not true.

 

DBL

[PrincessLinzay]

Indeed, Im not in a relationship right now, I just got out of a bad one with a guy that didn't like to treat me well, and am not trying to jump into another one either.

 

Also, you have 13 years on me, so maybe this theory that you should "treat them like crap and they'll love you forever" just isnt working out? The idea isn't to treat them like their God's gift, but you don't have to treat them like crap either. I prefer the saying "treat others as you want to be treated".

 

It's a bit of a hypocrisy that you think it's ok for a MAN to treat a woman like crap, but if it's a woman doing it......it's a whole different story. I don't think anyone, male/female, should treat anyone badly. I would expect that a large number of both men and women would disagree with your theory.

[tea]

somehow i think we might be misunderstanding dbl a bit here.

 

There is some truth to "treat ppl like crap and they'll love you" theory. It works with both guys and girls and if you try it out it's amazing.

 

In a lot of ways I'm really not nice to my boyfriend, but all together he knows I treat him well. If I tell people little things I make him put up with or things I do ... or even that I never give bf any presents until I feel the need to, everyone think bf's not getting his end of the bargain, but both of us know even though I'm not the lovely "i'll put up with whatever" girl, when he's sick, when he's drunk, i'll take care of him even if it means i'm not sleeping or if he's vomiting. (i have this neat cleanliness issue and I can't believe I let him sleep in my bed without a shower either, but he was just so tired so i just kind of put up with the smell... )

 

in that sense I think I'm really nice to my boyfriend.

 

Perhaps DBL's just saying he isn't nice to his girlfriends with little things... I wonder if he's saying he's not nice to them as a whole though. I really think if guys are utter and complete jerks they won't get any girls... unless if the girls like to be abused. There's just only so much abuse people can put up with without getting rewards.

 

 

Well, then, I'm only guessing here, he's the only one who knows himself.

 

 

 

... just a note, before we all jump in conclusion and think he's the worst of men and no one should ever want to date him, take note that he has never cheated on his future ex-wife. In some sense I think that's more important than anything and shouldn't be overlooked.

[PrincessLinzay]

I would have SEMI agreed with DBL had it not been for the "Treat them like crap and they'll love you forever thing". Kindness can be perceived as weakness by some, but that doesn't mean you should abstain from kindness altogether. For me personally, the worse someone treats me, the more I want to leave.

 

Also, I did state that people don't have to treat their partner like "God's gift" but they shouldn't treat them like crap either.

 

In a lot of ways I'm really not nice to my boyfriend, but all together he knows I treat him well

 

**I certainly wouldn't qualify it as treating your boyfriend like crap if he knows you treat him well, you just don't put his needs above your own, something everyone should aspire to**

[DBL]

Somebody will always disagree, that is just how we are. Yeah I got more years invested in seeing what works and don't work. I will also add that the ones I treated worse were the ones I broke up with. The ones that I was more civilized were the ones that left me.

 

I mean look around these forums, you have all these guys that go out on a date have a great time and then never hear from the woman again, or are left to play games. Generally reading...I think a lot of these guys are good guys looking to treat a woman fairly and they get stepped on by the woman. So they are left wondering if they should keep persuing the woman claiming how great of a date or convo they had. "I left two messages should I call her again?". A lot of good being nice did for them.

 

Now i'm not saying smack a woman around, call her names, or anything like that. Me personally I don't have the time or patience for the games. What you see is what you get. Has it worked for me, in a way yes it did, because I controlled the relationship and made all the calls. If I wanted to be with them I would still be with them.

 

You give an inch they take a foot, you give a foot they take a yard, you give a yard they take a mile, you give a mile they take you for everything you got. It is not being a hypocrit, it is fact. The girl I treated the worse was the most loyal girlfriend I ever had, but I dumped her.

 

DBL

[69_king]

I still don't believe this "treat a girl nice and she'll walk all over you" crap. Personally I think (or at least I hope) that most women are more noble than that.

 

And can you tell me exactly what treating a girl bad involves?

[Mun]

DBL.. the girls you treated badly.. I bet you lost respect for them didn't you? How interesting were they to you if they just put up with whatever kind of treatment you gave them?

 

The ones you let walk all over you... I wonder if maybe you put them too high on a pedestal as Dreamweaverdude says he does. They didn't respect YOU very much and so they walked all over you.

 

Princess you said something in another thread and I loved what you said. It was about a man seeing a woman with all her faults and not looking at her blindly ....That is the kind of man I have respect for. One who will think I'm great, but if I'm doing something disrespectful he will call me on it. He won't let me walk all over him...even if I can

 

Now why don't we get back to why men think some women are intimidating and what we can do about it? You guys had some very good points.

[DBL]

The girls I treated badly, I didn't loose respect for all of them. I usually had to many options and I was always looking for the Bigger Better Deal.

 

I can't say I pedistooled anybody. I would compromise. Let them get away with this or that. I have to say it is probably more what I see with other peoples relationships. I seen my friends get walked on, I seen my friends treat their women badly. All in all...my comments stand true.

 

I'll give you an example:

 

My x friend...we will call him...Dufus.

Dufus was dating this girl we will call blondie. Now Dufus has no balls at all...and his woman just walked all over him. He thought he had control, but when I have to comment to his woman about how she treats him and how she wears the pants, we all know he has nothing to go on. This guy is driving 1000 miles every other weekend to see her and then she says she is too tired to see him. Anyway...she milked him and dumped him.

 

Ok about 4 months later Dufus meets this other girl we will just call her Ugly Skank. I am being generous here. Anyway...Dufus treats Ugly Skank like crap. For the life of him he could not get rid of this girl. The more he treated her like crap the more she wanted him. HJe got caught cheating on her and she still wanted him.

 

So I rest my case, treat them like crap and they will love you forever. Treat them good and they walk all over you.

 

69_king, you can buy whatever you desire. Different follks different strokes. You would like to think that woman would not tolerate this, but a lot do, just as a lot of guys are suckers and get stepped on. Me personally I have to dominate the relationship else I just walk.

 

DBL