First ever date?

[Saures]

I have never been on a date before, as in a proper going out for a nice meal and I am absolutely petrified to the point where I am considering calling it off...

 

We're going to what I classify as quite an upmarket restaurant and I am completely clueless on a few things.

 

What do I wear?

Can I order a coke without looking childish (there is quite a large age gap between us)?

What do we talk about?

Do we pay halves? Does he pay? In the movies, he always pays!!!

 

I need all your dating tips fast!!!!

[TheD87]

First of all, RELAX....I know it is hard, but if you get yourself all worked up it will show on the date.

 

And maybe some more details would help, like the age gap and how old each of you are. But ordering coke or a pop is perfectly acceptable. As a guy, I like when the girl offers to pay for half the meal, although I always say I have it and pay for it all. So be prepared to offer to pay half, but don't be surprised if he picks up all of it. And what to talk about really kind of depends on what you know about the person already. If it is a blind date type or someone you barely know, it is good to ask basic questions to get to know them better, like about their career, their family and stuff like that.

 

But again, I didn't "date" much until this past year either, and I have gone on a few dates this year and the most important thing is to just try and calm yourself down and relax and just be yourself. Good luck!

[missmarple]

First of all, relax. Focus more on what you're going to talk about and less on what you'll wear or order. Wear something that makes you feel comfortable but not something you'd wear in the supermarket..lol. Also, don't buy something especially for the occasion. During the first dates, you need to feel confident and not check yourself in the mirror all the time. Go easy on the make up too..if you wear make up.

Order anything you like...not only children drink coke. If he thinks you're childish because you drink coke, he's an idiot.

About paying, real life isn't movies. Men usually do pay for first dates, but, as many of my male friends have told me, it's always nice if the girl offers to pay her share. So, don't just sit there and wait for him to pay. Suggest you split the bill but if he wants to pay, just accept gracefully and thank him. The only time when I insist to share the bill is when I can tell I'm not into the guy and he's into me and I don't really want to see him again. In that case, no, I don't want him to pay for me, it would feel like I'm just using him.

What to talk about...well, religion and politics are a big no-no as they can lead to heated discussions and a first date should be about having a nice, relaxed time. Unless, that is, you're really passionate about one of those things and they take up a big part of your life..in that case, it's nice to let him know what he's getting into. Also, no talk about past relationships, noone wants to have dinner and talk about his ex and their breakup.

You can talk about food (it's a restaurant after all each other lives, your jobs, your families, your homes, hobbies, see what you have in common. If the date is going well and there's chemistry, you can talk about relationships in general, what you expect from a relationship, ask him about his expectations (if you want different things, better to know from the beginning)...and if all else fails, there's always the weather

[nyxy]

First of all, try to chill out! Remember: what have I got to lose? If you never see this guy again it's really not an issue, so don't put so much pressure on it!

 

What do I wear - look nice, but don't go overboard. Smart casual is usually a good bet, you don't want to be showing up in your best frock and stilettos if he may show up in jeans and a t-shirt, right? Or vice versa (though hopefully he won't be in a dress, lol).

 

You can order a coke, that shouldn't be an issue. Nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone sober(!), though a glass of wine may help settle your nerves.

 

As for conversation, just let it flow. If he is older than you he probably knows dating etiquette and will keep the conversation moving. It's always good to have a few questions in mind to ask him, and anecdotes are good too. If you connect with the guy, conversation will likely be easier than you think it'll be.

 

As for paying, I tend to offer to split. Some guys will accept, others will insist on paying the full bill. Again, don't have any expectations, just go with gut on the night.

 

Good luck!