How to deal with a Friend's loss

[JoyieGracie]

-One of my friends is dealing with a lot of bad things right now. Her boyfriend broke up with her, her dog was ran over right in front of her house, and her mom had a major surgy. But the worst thing is that her dad recently died. She has been depressed for a very long time and feels regret about losing her dad because she was mad at him and didn't talk to him for three weeks because of his drug problem.

 

All of my friends have been saying how sorry they were and "comforting" her , even when she said she wanted to be my herself. I don't know what to do. I really care about her, but I have NO idea how to help her get through this because I have never experianced such hardships as she has. Lately I've been avoiding her, becuase when I see her at school I don't know what to do. It's been about three weeks scine her dad passed away and though she's trying to act like things are normal, I know they aren't. Help me deal with my friend, I'm worried about her, and feel bad for not being there for her lately!

[bdub]

Its one of the hardest things in the world to watch another in pain. Thats what makes this site so incredible. A bunch of strangers who care enough about people they don't know to take on the burden of others' pain. I applaud all of the people on this site for helping me way back when and continuing today.

 

Now for your question. I think the best thing you can do is let her know that you care and are there for her IF she needs you. Simply KNOWING that somebody cares and is feeling your pain is one of the most helpful feelings during a time of grief. You are like her safety net. You don't smother her by being "aggresive" with your help, but she knows that you are there if she needs you.

 

bdub

[sisterlynch]

I would treat her as normal as you can. If she tries to be ok -- then you go along with it. She may be acting a bit, but she probably doesn't want to break down in front of others. Act as natural as you can, try to put your feelings for her out of your head and then think about it later.