i dont know what to think anymore.....

[dimp62003]

my boyfriend and me have been going out for over a year (one whole year this month) but i feel like we aren't as close as we used to be. sometimes i feel like he would rather hang with his friends than hang with me. like last weekend his friends came over friday and saturday night and i really didnt get to upset cuz they hadn't been over for a while. but then like this last week i only got to see him 2 times and it was only for like 2 hours. so this weekend i really just wanted to spend time with just him and me and he agreed so on friday we were hanging out and he calls his friend and sits there and talks to him for like 20 minutes and i got upset and then later we were driving around and his friend calls and is like im in town come meet up with us so we did and then they came back over to his house and they finally left when i had to leave in like 15 minutes so i was pretty mad. so i go really upset and we talked and he said ok saturday just me and you. so saturday i was on my way to his house and i get half way there and he calls me and hes like well im not home im with my friends so i was like ok well what time are you going to be back and hes like idk it wont be to long and this was at 3:30 well he didnt get to my house until 6 and i had to be back home at 10 so i was very very mad. i dont like his friends and every time that he hangs out with them he acts like a totaly different person and i hate it. i just need to spend time with just me and him and i dont think that he understands that...yeah saturday he couldnt help that it took so long cuz his friend was shopping for his g/f but still. i just want to spend time with him and i dont know what to do to make it happen i dont know what he wants anymore.....any input would be wonderful thanx

[wasting_time]

how long has this been going on for? has he been cutting back the time or has it been like this the whole relationship. SPeaking from a guys perspective, hanging out with ur mates is very very important and guys have very strong morals about friends, and they always come before girls, u might not like it but it's true. Not all guys are like this but i know i am. But he seems to be going a bit over board with the whole telling u u guys can hang out then doesnt. Maybe you guys are growing apart a bit, has the relationship become routine at all?

[Meow18]

I think you should talk to him about this. I don't know if you haven't already.

 

Its not fair to want him to stop hanging out with his friends all together, but its not wrong to want alone time with him every once in awhile. I think you need to bring this issue up. Tell him how hurt you are that he promised time with you alone, but ended up bringing his friends along and not caring about your feelings.

 

Can I ask why you don't like his friends? Is it because you feel like they take his time away from you. Like wasting_time said, its important to be with your friends. However, if something is bothering you about it, then you need to talk to him, because something isn't right.

[Caldus]

Yeah I would say friends are pretty important for guys. But I can understand how you feel. He seems to be doing everything he can to spend less time with you alone. Something is up so you two need to have a serious discussion about it whenever you can.

[OceanEyes]

i dont like his friends and every time that he hangs out with them he acts like a totaly different person and i hate it.

 

Ah yes. This is something that most young women know VERY well. Your boyfriend is one way with you, but when his friends are around, he's kind of a pompous idiot. My boyfriend is 23 and he's still that way sometimes. On the same note though, when I'm with my girlfriends, I have a tendency to get wrapped up with them and ignore him. I don't mean to, but I sometimes do!

 

It sounds like you've already talked to him about this. That's really all you can do in a situation like this. Begging, crying, and showing unusual amounts of emotion and jealousy is going to turn him off (and he'll be spending even less time with you).

 

Seems like a no-win situation, right? Here's something I would try: hang out with your friends every night you can. Make plans for a week straight, and when he asks what you're going to be doing, be very vague and don't stay on the phone for very long. Become mysterious and do little things to make him jealous. In a case like this, talking usually does more harm than good if you ask me. I'd take some action to remind him what a catch you are.

[dimp62003]

the reason that i dont like his friends is because they are jerks to me....and like ever night that like we have stuff planned they always find some way to mess it up