i'm worried about my friend

[Dei]

I worried about one of my friends...but i'm not sure if i should be. Shes one of those really good grade students, quite in school, always tries her best hard worker nice to other people. but then again, she doesnt really have much of a social life....all she does is work really hard. im just worried that she'll regret not having fun now as a teenager...she doesn't really take any risks...do you think this is normal...or should i be worried about her? if i should be worried what should i do about it.

[party_of_italy]

i know of a couple of kids like this in our school. and i'm not very good friends with them, because that is all they think about, school work and such. but those who are their friends will invite them to parties and sporting events, they have refused to come at times, but when they are dragged there they seem to loosen up right away and see how much fun life can really be. sit down and talk to her about this, tell her that she needs to try being a kid for just one night, and try taking her out to a party with you and get her to do stuff she wouldn't try before. ask her if this was her last day on earth, what would she want to do? then try to help her try those things now. she'll hopefully learn to relax and forget being perfect for a while.

[Alabama]

I know of some people, who all they seem to do is work hard. If your friend enjoys doing this, then that's her choice. We each should be able to live our lives the way we want too. Despite her always working hard, I'm sure she has fun at least once in a while. If not, then maybe invite her over sometime, or plan something to make sure she doesn't work too hard. Yet, don't force anything, because it's important to be there as a friend, but more important for her to do what she chooses to do. Good luck in whatever you decide!

[blackss]

i dunt think highschool is supposed to be about being irresponsible and doing extremely stupid things, yea you should have fun, but i'm not going to say its supposed to be the "best" time of your life...

 

is this person shy? low self esteem?

 

IMO, not having a good social life when you are young, will catch up to you in the future..

 

talk to her about it, see what she's doing on the weekends (who studies on the weekend?!) go to the movies, something

[troublegal05]

I wouldnt worry too much about your friend..I happen to be like this too...You shouldnt force her to do thing/go places that shes not comfortable doing/going. Is your friend really shy? she could be avoiding doing these things for a reason..I know my friends tend to want me to go alot of places with them, to parties and stuff but i'm a shy person and i tend to be hesitant of invitations with lots of people. Somtimes I like keeping to myself and doing things independently and most of the time i'd rather do school work and concentrate on the future than have an active social life...maybe your friend feels the same..Try talking to her on how she feels.. She could just be the type of person who doesnt enjoy going to parties and stuff..try seeing what your friend might want to do.

[LostInaTrapOfMyOwn]

hmm well, I was kinda like that in the first couple years of high school, like till age 14/15, then just I loosened up on my own, cuz I felt like it I still know ppl who are 20, in uni now, and are still like that.

 

I think it all depends on how your friend wants to be. I mean, if she doesn't like her life the way it is, then yeah drag her out to something, expose her to new people, etc. But if she's happy with her life the way it is, then I say let her be. When/If she wants to change, she will. Overall, just keep inviting her to do stuff with you, and let her choose how much she wants to partake in.

 

btw, "loosening up" totally screwed my grades over, and I'm currently trying to "tighten up" as it were, to get them back. So, keep in mind that ppl with good grades tend to like good grades, and may choose to not party

[Cadence308]

I think if you are that worried about your friend you should talk to her about it. Tell her that you would like to spend more time with her, but she doesn't seem to ever want to do anything.

 

On the other hand, she sounds like a smart cookie, preparing for her future. I really respect kids that have their heads on straight and have goals and reach for them. There's something really commendable about them. I was one of those kids so that's probably why I'm saying this.

 

Also, do her parents work hard? Do they push your friend? That could be part of it. I had this friend growing up and throughout high school all she did was work hard and do school work. Her parents wanted her to be an overachiever and she was. She could have been valedictorian of our class, but she got a B in a cooking class. Pretty funny, considering that she was taking classes like calculus, physics, and chemistry in high school. So I always thought she was really uptight. Then when we got to college she went crazy. She partied it up, drinking and smoking weed, having sex. Now I would say she's sort of a hippie, but I lost touch with her and haven't heard from her in a while. She dropped out of college because she failed some classes and last I heard she went back, although I don't know if she finished. Anyway, that's my story of my uptight friend who changed once she got out from under her uptight parents.