Ending Friendship...

[kat9937]

Hello,

I met a girl a few years ago...and she was new to the city and I kind of took her under my wing (she actually said I was like a big sister) to her because I cared so much. I am currently 35 and she is 25.

 

Anyways, I didn't talk to her for a year because long story short, one night my boyfriend at the time, her and my other gf were over...I ended up drinking too much and didn't feel like I should be going out and insisted they all still go out. Anyways, I found out through him that they made out that night. Needless to say, I was devestated...obvi broke up with the guy...but the worst was having this "friend" do that to me. It was hard to even get out of bed for the next month...

 

At that time though, I felt she had always taken my friendship for granted. Like when we would go out I would always buy rounds...but when it was her turn, she conveniently didn't want to drink anymore... She always came to my place to drink before going out...yet not once ever brought something over. Cabs? I would pay... And it was always her talking about her, crying about guys and needing me, and I was always there. Most importantly, aside from the money stuff, I was always there for her. Rarely did I get asked anything about my life...to be honest, i don't even think she would be able to explain my career to someone lol.

 

In January of this year, she contacted me and I actually decided to give her another chance. We have been hanging out a lot...but still not much has changed...She always says how much she loves me...but really I feel like if she had other people in her life who had cared like I would, she probably wouldn't have made the effort. How can you love someone yet still never really ask about things in their life...take advantage...and being younger is no excuse...25 is more than old enough to have common sense.

 

And another thing that really bothers me is she will make comments about other people in their 30's when she gets mad at them saying "No wonder they're still single in their 30's"....yet I AM single in my 30's. Its hurtful... and not just a one off...this has come up a few times...

 

Or I will introduce her to my other friends...one is Iranian for example and she will say to me at a later date "Iranian girls aren't pretty"... I was mad because that is just plain RUDE not to mention she knows my friend is...and Iranian girls are beautiful. I told her every race is beautiful...and asked her how she would feel if someone said that about Chinese (she is Chinese).

 

Anyways, on the weekend, I was upset about something (I had seen her earlier in the day) and she was right by my place and I asked her to come over. After everything I have done for her...even leaving my place at midnight because she was upset she had the nerve to ask "Why?" and couldn't even pick up the phone to call me. I have never once asked her to come over because I needed her...and the one time I did she asked why and said she was busy eating.

 

So, this has really been bothering me....a sum of everything from our relationship...and I just feel like I am done with it. I decided today to remove her from my fb and just move on. Am I wrong to be feeling like this? Is this a good decision?

 

Thank you!!

[Very troubled]

Defiantly move on- who needs enemies with a friend like that. Friendship is give and take-your there for each other in good times and bad.

I'm suprised you forgave her after she got with ur boyfriend-unforgivable.

[daddids]

You made the right choice. But deleting her from fb is the first step, she will probably call you and message you when she starts to realize what is going on, you have to be strong there too.

 

Very troubled, a good friend of mine, we are friends from when we were like 12 years old ( I am 22 now ) tried to kiss my ( then ) gf. That was 2 years ago. I did want to smash his face but I didnt. He never called me to apologize or cry for my forgiveness. For 1 year almost we lost touch but with his attitude from then on he showed me that he respected me, loved me and feared me. Now, we are like best friends ( I have not forgotten what he did, but I have forgiven him ) and through out this last year he was there to support me while I was going through some important stuff in my life ( graduating from college, while I was doing my time in the army, breaking up with another girl, helping me set up my new apartment).

 

I believe everyone is worth a second chance.