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I have an issue with being in a romantic relationship


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I have trouble being with someone. Its like I feel this connection with that person, a physical connection, and it drains me. My personality also changes. I am too worried I might screw things up, I dont understand the "rules" of it, and I am unable to see this person as my friend if they are my girlfriend. I also dont really understand how I should act around a girlfriend. I try to be myself, but when I get into a relationship like this parts of me get blocked away, I often forget who I am.


Like recently I was in a long distance relationship with someone, who would come over occasionally, and I always kept questioning if I should be with this person. I ignored it because I also question the whole idea of should I even be with anyone since I am perfectly good being single. In fact I am at my best when I am single. I can take care of myself, I really dont need anyone else. I actually prefer to keep my distance from people. I like being alone.


The strange thing is, I was not always like this, but much of my life I had to deal with being alone and I guess after a while I adapted to it so much that it became something I desired.


I do question why people get into relationships, if its just been indoctrinated into our minds over years and years that we believe that we want to be with someone simply because over a long time we have been told to find someone.

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