Dreams. The only contact I have.

[Strung_Out00]

Last night I had a very vivid dream about her. There were many tears and I'm sorry's exchanged and we reconciled. I woke up today feeling very empty and sad....the feeling is similar to how I felt in November. It's hard for me to accept that someone I fell asleep beside every night and saw every single day is now nothing more than someone in my dreams and has become part of my past.

 

I never envisioned it feeling this raw four months down the line. There's really no more advice to be given. There's nothing more than can be said. I sound like a broken record on here. She no longer loved me and left. It's over. Permanently. I want nothing more than for the pain to be gone. I've accepted she's not coming back. Like I said in a previous thread, I haven't heard "boo" out of her since I moved out of our place. If I've accepted she's not coming back, then why do I still hurt? Am I missing her? Am I just missing the companionship?

 

I'm sorry for being so repetitive on here. I just no longer feel like talking to friends and family about it. It's already a new year. I've talked about it ad-infinitum to my friends and I'm sure after this long they would say "Dude, come on already. I feel for you, but you gotta get past this".

 

 

This should be the easiest breakup to get over. There's no breadcrumbs, headgames, she was very clear many times during the first few weeks about not having feelings for me in that way anymore.

[Limiya]

It's understandable really. 4 Months isn't really that long.

I'm almost 6 months down the line and i still get the odd vivid dream here and there. Even though i convince myself i never want to see him again.

 

Last night i had a vivid dream too, where i was spying on him and his life with his new fiance. I was waiting outside, and he left the house to say goodbye to friends, and i found myself walking up to him and demanding answers. He was being vague about everything and not looking at me and looking uncomfortable.

Weird dream cause i already have my answers. Just didn't like the fact he lied.

 

The fact it, we will keep getting these vivid dreams, and they might bother us. But it's also just our brains processing everything in their own ways.

Keep busy, and tell yourself it should pass soon.

 

Hugs

Limiya

[Strung_Out00]

4 months really isn't all that long when compared to how long we were with them, for sure. This emptiness inside me is getting ANNOYING, though and living alone now doesn't make things easier. I already have my answers too. I got them 4 months ago.

 

I want to feel the rush of meeting someone new so badly. I would like to go out here in town, but I never know if I will run into her. It's been NC for so long that I actually fear seeing her. Which is very odd, because the last time I saw her, I was strangely ok with it, but the surroundings were familiar. I was getting the last of my things from our place and she showed up at home. She cried, I felt bad for this but I was pretty stoic.

 

I feel that now the tables would be turned. I envision walking into a bar here in town and her being there and seeing a stranger. NC has actually made me fear contact from her. Isn't it crazy?

 

As for dreams, my subconscious will do as it pleases unfortunately.