ran4it2 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I haven't spoke to my ex in over 2 weeks nor did I plan on talking to her. We were involved in a drunk driving accident where my car was totalled on NOV 30th. She just sent me a text asking if I talked to my lawyer. Idk if I should respond or not. She made it clear she was going to handle her side of her case by herself. Why is she contacting me!!! Help guys Link to comment
Maverick1984 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 She wants validation. Ignore her and get on with your life. I guarantee you that if you give her the attention she wants, she will quickly stop texting/calling you once she's satisfied. Onder Link to comment
ran4it2 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Share Posted February 11, 2013 Thanks Maverick1984. Validation for what? I thought I would be happy if I ever got a text from her but right now I'm really bothered and annoyed. Maybe she really only is trying to talk to me about the case and nothing more. But I've been doing my own thing,meeting new girls going out to Hollywood with my friends and now she hits me up. Ive stopped tripping over her and I can feel like I'm finally moving on. What the hell...... Link to comment
Maverick1984 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Bare this in mind: The most valuable resource a woman has over a man, is sex... The most valuable resource a man has over a woman, is time and attention... Onder Link to comment
Maverick1984 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 If you want this girl back. Don't chase after her sex, which is really what it all boils down to for us men. Make her realize that your time and attention is more valuable and get her to chase you down for it. The more she seeks for it, the more she will want you in the long term. It's likely she broke up with you because you became too predictable as a boyfriend and too available. This lead her to becoming bored with the relationship. In chick logic, it's equal to them saying "There's no spark" You need to now turn it all around and get her to start chasing you. She's only contacting you now because her expectation of you chasing her to repair your relationship has obviously backfired. And she now wants the validation. The validation to prove to herself that she's still desired by you, which will satisfy her ego and possibly give her enough motivation to eventually move on and find another victim who will fall for her manipulation. It sounds misogynistic. But having experienced this for myself at first hand and become conscious and aware of the dynamics over time. This is what i've noticed. Link to comment
ran4it2 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Share Posted February 11, 2013 Idk Maverick1984 I was with her for 3 years. If you look at my profile I posted a backstory on our relationship and our falling out. At first I was feeling so down and horrible. But within the last 2 weeks of NC most of my feelings have subsided. I went from despair, to sorrow and then lately I've just been angry for what has gone down with us and I don't ever picture myself with her anymore. Im still in the process of moving on. I think about her often but I NEVER think about us getting back together again. What about if she really does want to talk about the lawyer and nothing more? Link to comment
Maverick1984 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 The emotions you're going through is normal and you will feel angry. You will eventually get over it and the anger will wash away and will be more indifferent towards it in time. You're actually doing the right thing by not contacting her as it's causing her to creep back in. She's being coy about it by going about it in an indirect way to test the waters with you to see if you'll bite. But i would honestly recommend you ignore her completely as the more she stays in your life at this point, the harder it's going to be for you to move on, regardless of the reasons behind her contacting you. Link to comment
rocko123 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Are you some expert on lawyers or something? He's right, she's just trying to get an "in" to reestablish contact. You're two weeks in on NC, keep it up! You'll feel so much better when you're 1 month, 2 months, etc. Link to comment
ran4it2 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Share Posted February 11, 2013 I texted her back. Its whatever I didn't break NC she did. I will continue what I'm doing and leave it at that. My buddy just told me to just text her back and don't think anything of it. Convo was short and it was pointless for her to even contact me. Her: Have you talked to Sunny lately? (lawyers assistant) Me: I spoke to James last week. Really havent talked to Sunny. Her: Did he say anything? Me: I talked to him about the money for my car. Cause I need a new one ASAP. Her: Ok Not hitting her back. What the hell was the point of that? Its an annoyance more than anything. I feel like I didn't do anything wrong I was being a mature adult by answering the question and nothing more. Link to comment
ran4it2 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 Wow what an idiot I feel like. I decided to spark a conversation because I thought that is what she wanted to do. We began talking and I asked her about her birthday (feb 19th) its going to be her 21st so I said it has be be something to remember. She told me she was going to Disneyland with one of her male co-workers for free. And when I asked if it was just them two. She remarked Yep, what have you been up to? This infuriated me, I was doing so well and was going along moving forward. Now I'm back to where I was 2 weeks ago. I called one of my good friends and she told me she used to do that same thing to her ex. Call him spark his intrest then drop a bomb on him just to get him angry and her excuse was that if she got mad he still cared. She clearly sees that I'm going out and doing my own thing and I think she did it just to throw it in my face. I feel like ****.. Link to comment
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