Very confused???

[Josh G.]

OK, so i finally asked the girl i liked out, she said yes, and then i gto on the bus and went home, went to work, got home got on msn, and she was on, Started talkin to her, and she didnt seem to talk as much as usual but she ddint say anything abotu earlier, and just kinda talked abotu normal things, so I wasnt sure How she felt then abotu me asking her out, so I said, Im sorry if I freaked you out earlier, and she said, it was ok, she wasnt expecting it, and she didnt know I liked her that way , then I said, well i do, but im not sure how u feel, so she said, well i liek u, but i just didnt know u liekd me like that, i thought u just liked me as a friend.

So now i feel liek she just liked me as a friend and didnt know what to say and just said yes. Im not really sure how i feel, I guess i an just describe it as sad and i dont kno wut to do

Any body kno wut is oing on in her head and wut she means????? thanks, josh.

[pineapplegirl]

Hey Josh-

>Is this girl the same age as you???

[Josh G.]

ya

[Josh G.]

ya were boh the same age nd in the same grade

[pineapplegirl]

Do you guys have a lot of mutual friends?

[Josh G.]

ya kinda, i kno some of her frineds but really dont talk to them much, and she knows alot of my friends

[pineapplegirl]

Is it possible that you might have been misinterpreting signs from her? Like, you thought she was into you, but actually she was just trying to be nice?

[Josh G.]

ya i think i might have been stupid, but i mean she was always flriting with me, not acting liek she does around other guys, she would get kinda nervous at first if i ever went to sit next to her in the cafeteria, she would start blushing, her frinds awlways made jokes to me about her likeing me, she would play with my hands and fingers and look into my eyes, alot, we would talk like crazy on msn, she would always rest her feet on my legs in class, do really cute stuff, a whole bunch of other stuff that showed she liekd me. One she said something about us having a song together (which i dont know if it means anything still?) and kind of laught at whatever i say, but she might be being really friendly, (also she had a thing going around everywhere that i was the best smelling kid)( she liked my cologne) but i dont know, if she did liek me, i might have waited to long, and she might have just thoguht there wa sno way i liekd her, which wold be the friends thing, but she still acted the sam around me she always did, Liek i siad im really confused, would a girl say yes if u asked her out if she didnt liek you, and i guess now she is talkng alot on msn, back to herself, just im really confused and this is stressing me out, I dont know how I should act around her, but thanks for any help.

 

Oh by the way, im really sorry about the typing errors and bad grammar, I just am not in the mood to perfect what i write right now

[pineapplegirl]

>It's cute that you apologized for your grammar and spelling.

 

>Yes, the signs would indicate that she, in fact, did/does like you. Maybe she's just having a bad day? Sorry, that's kind of a lame excuse for her behavior, but it doesn't make sense...

 

>I thought she said, "yes" when you asked her if she wants to be your girlfriend...? This is that girl named Ashley right?

 

>P.S. What cologne do you wear?

 

>P.P.S. I don't want it to seem like I'm flriting with you (I promise-God knows that I'm old enough to have baby sat you when you were a kid), but I do want to know what cologne you wear...

[Josh G.]

she did say yes when i asked her out, so i thought everything was awesome, until I i told her I liked her but I didnt know how she felt (because she was acting strange). also, here are the colognes I wear, Alfred sung, Hei, Davidoff, Cool water, and some Adidas, Move.

[pineapplegirl]

Wait, clarification please:

She said "yes" about wanting to be your girlfriend, but then acted weird when you said that you LIKE her?

[Josh G.]

well, after i asked her out, i didnt get to talk to her again until after on msn, and i noticed she wasnt acting herself, so I thought maybe i scared her asking her out, so i said im sorry if i freaked you out earlier today, she said, its ok, i wasnt expecting it, i didnt think u liked me that way, i thought that you just liked me as a friend, so then that kind of threw me off a bit, so i said, I do like you, but im not sure how u feel, and she said, I like you, but i just thought that you thought that I was just a friend. So i am confused wether she just thinks I am a friend to her and I dont know if she meant it when she says she liked me 2?

[pineapplegirl]

>Would you feel weird asking her on MSN? I think after all your anguish with this chick, you have a right to know...

[Josh G.]

Well i think I will just act normal, on msn, and when i see her monday, I will see how she is reacting more than what she says, her facial expresions and bodylanguage, and if i think we were better off as friends , I will tell her, that I still really like her, but I value our friendship, and If it isnt going to work out as a relationship, that I wouldnt want anyhting to be akward between us (even tho that is inevitable, I showed her my feelings). Even if things dont work out, i would like to be her friend, In dec were going to a concert (again she invited me to go, i took that as another hint she liekd me) and I would still liek to go if im going with her, but if i cancel, it would look kinda weird too, so no matter wut i should stll go to with her if we are just friends and just hangout. I really hope this works out though, I would really like to be her boyfriend and I would do anythign for her right now and I think about every second, but if i can only be her friend, I guess i am just going to have to move on.

[pineapplegirl]

>I think she's being confusing too, so I like your plan....Good luck and keep me updated.

[Francis]

May be the girl is really shy and she is just reacting in a foolish way because she likes you too much. You should not jump into conclusions too early.

 

Usually, when you really like someone, you can't help it but make a fool of yourself. You'll do all the wrong things and hit your head on the wall for being so stupid. Some people suddenly feel so insecure, that they will go as far as rejecting the persons they like the most (it happened to me when I was young).

 

Give her some time and give yourself some time too. Just date her casually and see what happens. I would not start seeing or dating other people until you have all this sorted out. It could be a great relationship.

[Josh G.]

Well, I hope you are right, thanks for the advise, I havnt talked to her yet, she is gone somewhere , but I might get to talk to her tomorrow night, if not monday, Ill see how things go there, I got some more questions now, If she seems to be acting really weird, and not interested should I ask her what she wants to do with our relationship? If she is acting normal should I just keep going along and pretend like I didnt care or notice anything, and would a girl say yes if u asked her out if she isnt interested in you, and do you think that when she kept saying that she thought that I thought that she was just a friend to her, that she just thinks I am just a friend? Any help is greatly appreciated and thanks for any previous help.

[Josh G.]

Well, I hope you are right, thanks for the advice, I havnt talked to her yet, she is gone somewhere , but I might get to talk to her tomorrow night, if not monday, Ill see how things go there, I got some more questions now, If she seems to be acting really weird, and not interested should I ask her what she wants to do with our relationship? If she is acting normal should I just keep going along and pretend like I didnt care or notice anything, and would a girl say yes if u asked her out if she isnt interested in you, and do you think that when she kept saying that she thought that I thought that she was just a friend to her, that she just thinks I am just a friend? Any help is greatly appreciated and thanks for any previous help.

[justagirl20f]

First off, I wear A.S. Shi and it's like my secret weapon with guys...

 

Anyway, I have three pointers for you:

 

One, MSN is possibly the worst thing for a relationship ever invented. I met my BF online and we got to know one another for almost two weeks through MSN before we met in person (he is local) but now that we're becoming closer in "real life" it's gotten to the point I view him as a completely different character online. We get into tiffs all the time online, and it's gotten to the point that if the conversation is heading in that direction, we'll both just be like, "let's forget it for now, and talk about it in person". You can't tell things like tone, body language, and facial expressions online, and as you know, a word as simple as "whatever" for example can have many different meanings depending on how it is said. It can mean "whatever, I don't care what we do I love being with you" or it can just as easily mean "whatever, nothing you say right now is going to keep me from being pissed off at you"

 

Two, girls in love (or even in like) are stupid. Well most are, and I have my feelings that the ones that keep their heads on straight with you aren't really in love/like at all, LOL. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions because that's the way I am, but man I can't even count the number of stupid things I've said or done to my poor BF by now. Then of course right after, you smack yourself and wonder what the heck you were thinking... Sometimes it gets so bad you actually HEAR YOURSELF as you're saying something as it comes out before you even knew you were going to say something so silly. Things you'll never say or do to someone you care about include things to hurt them or make them jealous intentionally. Pretty well anything else is game. She may like you a lot (it sounds like she does) or she may just be "being nice" in which case, good for her, she's young and that shows that she cares about another person's feelings almost more than her own, at least when she has to make an initial spur of the moment decision. Just ride it out for now, but in this case or any other future relationship, remember not to write a girl off for something silly she says.

 

Lastly, I know this doesn't help you right now, but as you get older it becomes less of a "be my GF" issue and more of a "would you like to go for dinner tomorrow night?" issue. This will make it infinitely easier on both of you. I know that in high school, when you ask someone out, you're like GF/BF from that moment on, and there's no getting to know each other phase. But that changes, because asking someone out once you're a little older means going on one single solitary date. That will make it easier.

[Francis]

You just seem over stressed up about the whole thing. This girl TOLD YOU that she likes you, didn't she? You choose to interpret her words as saying that she likes you as a friend, but when people are in love, they interpret the smallest thing as a sign of rejection. She told you she likes you, she probably does, otherwise she would have told you she likes you as a friend.

 

She might have her own insecurities and feel akward that a good looking guy like you be interested in her. She might be fighting against her self esteem problems, who knows?

 

You are so stressed up that you want to end the relationship, to "move on" before giving her a chance. Just calm down and breathe. First of all, you are a very nice looking guy from your picture, why wouldn't she like you? Just take it easy and be a bit positive. It is normal you'd be afraid of rejection, but she hasn't rejected you yet, right? Perhaps you are acting "weird" too, without noticing it, because you seem fairly nervous about the whole thing.

 

Just date her and get to know her better. May be she wants to know you better too. You don't want a girl who will jump into a relationship with the first guy that appears interested, do you? But my best bet is that she is very nervous around you too. Give her some time!

 

Just take it easy . Good luck!

[Josh G.]

Ok, thanks again for the help, It has made me feel a whole lot better about the whole situation, I think you guys are pretty right about this, Ill give you a bit of backround info between us, I have known he rfor almost a year, and we have always talked alot, I Think (thought) that she has liekd me for awhile, but I did not feel like getting into a relationship, I had alot of things going on so I just always acted as a friend to her, Even if I thought she was trying hard to be a bit more, I always stayed where I wanted to be, as just friends. Deep down inside, I knew I liked her more, but i tried to hide the feelings becasue Like i said, I had alot of things going on and didnt have the time or anything, to be in a relationship. She has never changed the way she has acted around me, I started to liek another girl, but I kept secret to who it was, She knew that I liked another girl, but she didnt know who it was, and she always bugged me to find out who it was, like, non stop for the longest time. I thought I really did like the other girl, but I realized I probally started to liek her so I wouldnt get into anything with this girl. I always thoght if I wanted to i could go out with her anyways (if i ever had the courage to ask) but like i said I wanted to stay single for awhile. Then the "crush" for the other girl completely went away, and I was dead nuts crazy for this girl, and I couldnt hide it no matter what, and she seemed interested in me too, so I asked her on o few dates, but I did always et the hint that she didnt think they were dates just more of just hanging out (but guys dont usually pay if your "just hangiong out with a girl") but I cant blame her, as much as she tried, I always showed her I just was a friend. But I decided that I liek her so much, I dont care how hard it will be for me, I want to be with her, no matter what is going on in my life. so lately, I tried showing her signs that I like her, Like taking her on dates, flirting, looking her in the eyes alot, giving her alot of attention, giving her time to just talk to me while I listen and be interested in wut she is saying and give her input on what she has said. So then, ya now were up tp date, I asked her out. I just now realized becasue of you guys, that I always acted like she was jsut a friend because that is all I ever wanted with anybody, so thankyou fro helping me understand that, Becasue I think she has let in sink in I can never be more, which is why it shocked her when I asked. I do have more questions tho, Do you guys think I have ruined somethign in the process of doing all this, maybe hurt my chances with ehr, making her feel liek I will never like her? also, if things go good, and she says somethign abotu her jsut being a friend to me, shoudl I explain to her what I just told you guys? Thanks again, Josh G.

[Josh G.]

Ok I feel really stupid again, Im just going to let anyone know whats going on if they are interested, I talked to her today, everything is good between us, She must have just been really shy and nervous or something but everything went awesome today, then her friend came up and talked to me, andshe was really exited and apparently "it was a bg deal" so that is also a good sign and she assured me that ashley liek me Thanks again Josh

[Francis]

I'm very happy to learn that everything is fine. However, if things seem to change, if she seems unsettled, don't think right away about "moving on". Give her sometime and talk to her, find out what is going on.

 

Take care and good luck to the two of you!