MapleCanuck Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 How would you react if your partner hid a previous sexual history with an opposite sex friend from you even after you asked if there was anything history? Would you be ok with your partner spending the night out late gettting drinks alone with a friend of the opposite sex? Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Nope. Wouldn't be able to trust when I found out that lie. I'd call it quits. Link to comment
buddha55 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 the lie would suck. I'd hate the dishonesty, but could move past it. would not be ok with drinks. Link to comment
Arise Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 How would I react? Im a guy and if I had a GF that had a male friend she was getting drinks with, especially one she was previously sexual with, Id give her the choice, "its me or the friend," if I got dumped for putting forth that ultimatum, than it would prove that she cares more about the friendship than the relationship with me. Consider that for your own situation. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 darling you asked this in a different way yesterday ... may I ask are you trying to recon with your ex now ? are you hoping one of us wull validate what she did and how she views male friends to make this ok for you ? it doesn't matter what we all think , it doesn't matter what we all do , or wouldn't do ... can you live with it ? Link to comment
Ayanokōji Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Lying is terribly damaging in a relationship and I would seriously inform him/her that you take it as a serious infringement and if you find him/her lying again *insert consequence here*, I usually go by the 3 strikes and you're out rule with lying. I would make it clear in the beginning of the relationship what the bounds are then trust him/her until he/she shows disloyalty with you having evidence to support it, I would not spy/snoop/get jealous as this is not productive/supportive and only make things worse. If your S.O wants to grab drinks with the opposite sex then let him/her, whether he cheats on your or not is in his/her jurisdiction but before he/she has committed the crime I wouldn't support accusations as any relationship is based on trust, are you going to live the rest of your life in a relationship with someone who you can't trust? Note that you stated "a" friend not "the" friend so I'm assuming that friend of the opposite sex is not the same one as the one he/she lied about? Link to comment
MapleCanuck Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 Hi Shooting Star, I'm don't with her, but just like to know what people feel for future reference more than anything. I've never had mistrust and never had a partner lie to me like she did. It's still shocking how easily she lied and how there was no guilt or even an apology when the truth came out. Link to comment
epsilon2x Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 How would I react? Im a guy and if I had a GF that had a male friend she was getting drinks with, especially one she was previously sexual with, Id give her the choice, "its me or the friend," if I got dumped for putting forth that ultimatum, than it would prove that she cares more about the friendship than the relationship with me. Consider that for your own situation. I wouldn't even give her the choice. You already caught her in bad behavior and know that she'll do it again. Just break it off and find someone you can trust. Guys are always giving girls too much credit when girls playing stupid and say things like "We had sex a few times last year, but we're just friends now.. like brother/sister and are going out for drinks." One, if not both of them, still want to hook up. And both parties know this is true. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 For me, once you've had sex, you're not a friend - you're an ex of some sort and no, I wouldn't date someone in contact with an ex any more than once or twice a year and the contact very superficial 'hi, how are you'. Link to comment
Weeb Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 If my boyfriend lied about sexual history with a friend I don't think I could forgive it. If he didn't mention it and I didn't ask it would probably make me uncomfortable, though I'd likely forgive it, but I wouldn't be comfortable knowing they were going out for drinks together. Link to comment
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