I don't know why i try...

[shan_a]

hey there, i'm an 18 year old guy who's been thru a lot of crap since my teens started, from the age of 12, ive been bullied, name called, romours spreaded about me. the absolute mick taken out of my appearance, prolly coz i was a really chubby kid. At the age of 16 i left high school, went college, it was good to see new people and make friends - at last some friends but they are all now in relationships and different colleges and im not in any relationship everytime i communicate with them to ask if they wanna link or do somthing..they like say they're busy. in high school i had one friend...that one friend last year...stopped talking to me like i was a friend...totally ignored me after i was beaten up on my door step by the same people who bullied me in school. he thort i was a threat and totally stopped talking and been seen with me. also same ppl spreaded a romour that i insulted a friend of myne that passed away saying he was a so n so...but i dint...i got so much grief off that and still do till this day....it seems as i have no friends and have never had luck with people, i dnt say much and try to be positive but it seems as what eva i do or try it goes sour...lately i lost a lot of weight - 4 stone..thru goin to the gym...improving my dress style...dying my hair and just trying to be a bit more trendy...people always hate or challenge me.....I cant figure it out...at times i even think about commiting suicide but cant coz i dont want to put my family thru pain.

 

n e ideas how i can like be somewhat of an accepted person somewhere...?

[crookster_man]

Hello Shan, good to hear from you, welcome to Enotalone. It sounds like you've had a very hard time in your life. It's very easy to get into a rut when all you know is crap. You start to view everything negativly. IF you want to be more accepted by other people your going to have to accept yourself first. (Sounds strange eh? of course I accept myself? right?)

 

Well what I mean by that is, you should start to focus on things that build you up rather then drag you down. Dwelling on the negative will only create a negative self image. It sounds from your first post that you have a very negative view of your life. Think hard, there must be some things that you are proud of. You seem to respect your family, having a strong family is something to be very happy about. BUt I'm sure there are other things, such as your success at the gym.

 

You see the only way peoeple will accept you is if you are confident of yourself. IT will take time to change the current way people see you. But you have to take the first steps. Going to the gym is great, make sure you go to be healthy and happy about you, not to impress anyone else.

 

The most important thing is being able to look your self in the mirror everyday. These are small steps in the right direction. Have you expressed your feelings to your parents? How about a school conscelor? talking to people is a great way to face your fears. Plus it will help you realize that things aren't as bad as you might see them.

 

Good luck and remember you are not alone.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Crookster_man posts very valid points.

 

It's good that you changed your image with regards to clothing etc. I think it might also be beneficial to learn self defence??

[shan_a]

thanx...things im proud of...ive begun to suceed in my college education, ive learnt how to drive, passed drivers test, bought a car, havin that customised at the moment. im very good at my job, i meet and greet people all day long, manage to put a smile on their faces and interact with them on a weekly basis. i work with a record company..do music arrangement..talent spot for them too.

 

erm self defance classes...im hopefully taking up a class at my gym..called body combat

 

To think about it....i do have good things in my life - cheers