shan_a

I've come to the point in my life that i question why is it always me out of everybody who gets it, the shortest straw..whatever you wanna call it. im so annoyed at being me. everyone just takes the piss, i bought a car,put a sports exhaust on it cost me £400 and i really like the sound of it...all my family could do is laugh at me..my brother and his friends all they do is make sarcastic jokes about me and my car. rest of the family hate me because im faire skinned and theyre darker than me..i get the "you're a white man...we don't like white people" or you're adopted kinda hatred talking. Atm im trying to educate myself by going to college and ammount to something in this life, but they make comments like no you'll never get a job in computing and smash every hope and dream i have. cause im doing computing im now a "geek" to them. even when it comes 2 me driving, they liek u drive like miss daisy...and all i can say is...coz i drive sensibly it makes me un-cool - over the years all i have had from people is pure hatred. i mean in a town that is 3 miles in radius, i have 2 friends out of what used to be 150 or so during high school. i mean i can't see anything to help me worth living my life..if everyone is going to hate and be negative towards me. reading up on religion helps me at times when im really depressed..but i dont know what the heck im doing to deserve all this!

thanx...things im proud of...ive begun to suceed in my college education, ive learnt how to drive, passed drivers test, bought a car, havin that customised at the moment. im very good at my job, i meet and greet people all day long, manage to put a smile on their faces and interact with them on a weekly basis. i work with a record company..do music arrangement..talent spot for them too. erm self defance classes...im hopefully taking up a class at my gym..called body combat To think about it....i do have good things in my life - cheers

hey there, i'm an 18 year old guy who's been thru a lot of crap since my teens started, from the age of 12, ive been bullied, name called, romours spreaded about me. the absolute mick taken out of my appearance, prolly coz i was a really chubby kid. At the age of 16 i left high school, went college, it was good to see new people and make friends - at last some friends but they are all now in relationships and different colleges and im not in any relationship everytime i communicate with them to ask if they wanna link or do somthing..they like say they're busy. in high school i had one friend...that one friend last year...stopped talking to me like i was a friend...totally ignored me after i was beaten up on my door step by the same people who bullied me in school. he thort i was a threat and totally stopped talking and been seen with me. also same ppl spreaded a romour that i insulted a friend of myne that passed away saying he was a so n so...but i dint...i got so much grief off that and still do till this day....it seems as i have no friends and have never had luck with people, i dnt say much and try to be positive but it seems as what eva i do or try it goes sour...lately i lost a lot of weight - 4 stone..thru goin to the gym...improving my dress style...dying my hair and just trying to be a bit more trendy...people always hate or challenge me.....I cant figure it out...at times i even think about commiting suicide but cant coz i dont want to put my family thru pain. n e ideas how i can like be somewhat of an accepted person somewhere...?