Advice? Trying to mend things after I hurt this girl a lot - is it worth it?

[radiohead20]

So I am in a very tough emotional spot right now with this girl I have been seeing for the past year or so.

 

We dated for 9 months - it was a rocky relationship. I hurt her a lot and did a lot of disrespectul things to her. I won't mention the details behing things. Behind the hurt was a near perfect dynamic - we both mentioned that we could marry each other no doubt and felt like we had a near perfect relationship dynamic despite what was happening in the background (we had compatibility both mental physical etc) - and what was happening in the background that was causing the hurt was more or less outside our control. I broke up with her and hurt her even more so I could figure all the stuff going on in my life whilst she went away for 2 months to study with the intention to try again when she got back and when I figured my stuff out.

 

While she was away we still talked and texted as much as we can. Told each other we loved each other everday. We hit some rough spots because I felt like I could not talk to her as much and it was difficult, but I was at least got the impression that when she came back it would be back to us again. We both decided to take it slow when she got and not rush into things and I agreed with her.

 

However, when she got back she was noticably different. She did not want to be near me as much, she stopped saying sweet things and she mentioned that when we had sex after we came back that it felt "distant". I confronted her about it and she said that the reason why she felt that way was outside her control - it was because I had hurt her sooo much and she had time to reflect back on it while she way away for 2 months. she had been burying all that anger and hurt and being away made her realize how much I hurt her and disrespected her and now when she sees me she gets bitter and feels distant. She said she was being honest with her behaviour and that acting like a couple and how we were would be "dishonest" because of all the hidden anger.

 

She is now saying she does not know what she wants or if she wants to be with me. She says that in order for it to work she has to get over her anger towards me and she does not know if that is possible and said she is just being honest about it. In the meantime, she told me she still wants me in her life and wants to take it slow and sort of play it by ear.

 

She is NOT a typical girl that plays games. She is not interested in anyone else - I believe her when she says that the reason why she is distant and dosent know what she wants is because she has alot of bitterness and anger towards me and does not know if she can handle it. I dont think there are hidden reasons. The real reason is because I hurt her so much and she is finally confronting it.

 

 

 

So I do not know what to do in this situation. this is a girl that I could see myself with forever, honostly. And she feels the same way. I feel like it would be too emotionally hard for me to sit here and hang out with her when I don't have a gaurantee whether or not she even wants to be with me and she is acting distant the whole time.

 

thoughts ...do I just tell her we need to move on and end it (this would be to prevent me from the emotional distress) or do I just suck it up and take a chance?

[Barrera]

I wish I could help you but I myself are in a somewhat similar situation... I hope it works out for the best!!!