ang3l2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 There is a man I will not say his name, I just want to let him know I dont want to play his game. There is a heart that has been split in two, But I dont regret it because I am in love with you. There is a tear that drips from time to time, But it's ok oneday I will be just fine. This man can be happy and angry and sad, But only if this man knew I want to make him glad. There is a place I would really like to go, That is to this mans house because I love him so. He does not understand how much is really there, How much I respect him and truly do care. After all of this I know where I will be, That is in his arms everyone will see. I will no longer cry or feel sad and alone, That is because the no named man will then come back home. Link to comment
under_the_pressure Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Yet another, Angel you are truly amazing. I feel like I say the same thing in every reply to your poems but they are all so beautiful. I love this one, too. Hope to see more, and keep writing. under* Link to comment
antzca2000 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 well i think your focusing too much on trying to make everything rhyme that the poem lost the feeling you were trying to project. Not every poem has to rhyme, in fact the best ones I've read with the most feelings were the ones that didnt rhyme. In fact many didnt even follow the rules of a normal poem, but each showed the feelings of the author... and that.... was sweet. Link to comment
ang3l2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 Thanks alot for replying Link to comment
ForAnother Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 I agree, the poem lost its rhythm with the attempt to rhyme. Try writing one that isn't in rhythm... just start spitting out ideas. Destroy this guy that is being a dick to you. Just write about him not your same emotion. ForAnother Link to comment
ang3l2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 Thanks for your opinions Link to comment
drahcir Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 I was really impressed that the whole poem rhymed. line to line. Thats take a lot of talent, creativity, and effort. Sometimes when people make unrhymed poems they just rant mindlessly.....some people I know sometimes write poems filled with swearing and nonsense.... Ryhyme is beautiful. I appreciate it! Link to comment
ang3l2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 thanks alot drahcir Link to comment
Gauchori Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 ya... I love to read and write rhymed poems. It just makes the poem better I guess... if you know how to do it. Sometimes... it gets hard to rhyme and it seems that you are tying too hard, thats when the poem starts coming out bad... Anyways, that was a great poem. Take care and don't try sooo hard that will make everything bad Link to comment
Recommended Posts