Ladies, i need advice from you...

[Hayabusa999]

Hello everyone,

Long time reader here, 1st time poster..

 

This text is to ask advice to the ladies on this forum... What is best to do at this point... here's the situation.

 

2 weeks ago, i met this lady over an dating website. She lives in the same city and her profile peeked my curiosity. So we talk over MSN and after 2 days, we decide to meet. The evening goes well, we talk and part as friends. I can see that i am definitely attracted TO her but, i decide to take it slow and see what happens. We see each other pretty much every day that week, and keep contact via cell phone and SMS (watch out for the bill).. Last week

 

The next day, again but this time, i don't leave until 2AM and during the movie, we got a bit closer...kissing her nect, she kissed mine, we get a bit ahead of ourselves and although we didn't make love, only clothes separated us. This went on again the next day and this time it was really hot but again, no sex. The next day i give her roses, saying i cared alot for her and her reply was very heartwarming.

 

Over this weekend, since she has her kids, we had agreed that i would leave the time for her to see her kids and since she doesn't want a steady guy in her life yet, shE doesn't want to impose me on her kids... Then, after sending her an email she tells me that she didn't want this between us (what we did) and she wanted me as a friend. She said that she did not need anyone and was happy the way she was. She almost asked me not to see her again as she knows my feelings for her. She says that she is not affraid to commit but doesn't want to .. not yet anyway.

 

Obviously, i was devastated yesterday. I care so much about herthat losing her would mean a downward spiral i do not want to get into.. but what should i do at this point? Walk away and stay friends or give her time and Take it slow... she says she LOves me...as a friend... but when we're together, we can't let go...

 

Your point of view on this is important to me ladies, feel free to say what you want. I will not Judge... all i want is help.

[gabyblake]

Your problem is difficult, it really depends on you. Do you think you will only be able to be friends with her? Because it sounds like she doesn't want a relationship with you. If you can hold on to the hope that maybe some day things will be different then you might be able to stay friends with her. However there is the possibilty that all you will be is friends which sounds like it will be really difficult for you, if she is a valuable friend to you try out just being friends and if it becomes too difficult talk about it with her and explain how you feel.

[SecondChance]

At this point, I think it's best to walk away. You're obviously sexually attracted to her, and it would be very hard on you to just maintain a friendship with her.

I don't know what her deal is, but it sounds like either she's leading you on and playing games with you in some way OR she's sexually attracted to you as well but for whatever reason wants to keep the relationship platonic, which is of course her perogative, but which is difficult for you since she won't tell you WHY and she's already gotten INVOLVED with you...

Tell her the door is open but walk away. If she wants you, she'll realize her mistake and come running after you. If she doesn't, she wasn't worth it in the first place. I think you're setting yourself up for a really bad roller coaster ride if you try to make this "platonic" thing work, esp. after you've already become somewhat intimate. Good luck.

[Hayabusa999]

New Developments...

 

I have been asked yesterday to go spend some time with her children to play football. This was one of her children's request. I accepted and showed up in early afternoon. We chatted a while and then went to play football with her 2 boys.

 

After one heck of a fun afternoon, i was asked by her to stay for dinner and i accepted. We went to get some movies and some wine and had our dinner, then sat close to each other while we looked at the movies.

 

I'll make a long story short at this point. After a long talk, i was finally able to crack her shell. She has told me that she does have feelings for me but was affraid to be hurt. We talked and i told her that i knew she probably felt very vulnerable right now having told me this. But i told her that i was first and foremost her best friend and will never let her down.

 

We stayed in each other's arms lying on the couch all night and i left in the morning.

 

I am very serious about who i call a friend and who i care for. She has become my very best friend and more... she's all i've ever wanted in a woman in my life and as i told her, i'll stick around...because you're worth all the time i have. Every second of my life.

 

Now i can feel in her words that it's different... She's not as defensive. I think, and hope she understands how serious i am about the love i have for her. Maybe she's ready to let me in a little more. One thing for sure, we are getting more and more intimate and my feelings just keep getting stronger every day for her.