What to do when its quiet?

[crizlee]

Have you ever talked to a girl and then its quiet for awhile. Im shy maybe its just me.

[fantasia2004]

anixety?

nervousness

[sisterlynch]

Maybe she is shy too. You can say a penny for your thoughts...that doesn't always work so well. Especially if they are with-holding information from you.

 

You could try and kiss her or rub her shoulders for a while. You don't always have to keep the conversation going, but if you are uncomfortable with the silence you could tell her a story from when you were young or something that happened during the day. ETC

[crizlee]

hmm when would you consider a girl to be your girlfriend? ive never had one, so i dont know.

 

because ive known this one girl at work 6 weeks now, and we've been to parties together, we go on breaks together at work and just chill and talk. i asked her out for this sunday, she told me to call her, so i guess its a good sign. im planning on taking her to her fav sushi bar, go play pool, then go chill at my lake. i hope everything goes well, well because we chatted one night about dating and relationships, and she said if she ever dates she wants to take it serious.

 

oh yeah, you know the weblog xanga? her and i have journals on there, as well as her friends, and i wrote down some of my feelings on there that i meant to keep to myself. she seemed to react really nice to me when she read it.

[Tinkerbell]

I wouldn't say she's your girlfriend yet, but it is a possibility. It's always best to talk about the relationship before calling the person your girlfriend or boyfriend; establish whether or not you're exclusive so there's no confusion later on. I'd say that the two of you are just dating at the moment. I know this may sound kind of lame, but why not think of a couple of things beforehand that you can bring up if there's an awkward silence? Little things that could get a conversation going, like a new song you heard, an article you read, etc.

[S4il]

About this girl your wanting to take out, I'm taking a total shot in the dark here, but from what i read it sounds like its a Classified as a "first date" weather or not it's under the justification of friends or not, *which I'm assuming it is* i think going to a sushi bar is just a bit over the edge, I'm not trying to kick knowledge- just genuine advice and a little bit of personal experience, It's like this when your wanting to take a girl your Interested in, and thats it. Out for whatever, Aim at something a little more casual, reason being, She can get the wrong impression on a first date if you take her to a sushi bar, why i say that is because

 

A. She might think your a big spender-

 

B. That your just trying to impress her-

 

C. Most important your showing WAY to much

 

I'm going to key in one of my "Golden Rules" when dating girls, That is "If the guy shows to much interest, the challenge is Gone"

 

You will achieve that IF* you take her to a sushi bar, thats more for when you and her are EXCLUSIVE, see what I'm trying to say..?

 

I'm not trying to tell you take her to McDonalds, and make sure you Super-Size the meal, Nothing like that just to take things in baby steps, with the sushi bar you have gone from baby Step to OLYMPIC LONG JUMP..Not a good way to go about it, You just want to put your foot in the door with her, Not your entire body..Meaning

 

"Your trying to rent space in her mind that you have potential to be something else than a friend" *In the future*

 

Ideas of CASUAL things to do.

 

Miniture Golf

 

Pizza and Ice cream (i know tha sounds odd but i do that a lot, and those dates go smooth)

 

Fair Grounds (if any are still going on)

 

The Zoo Like in Chicago i have the "Shedd Aquarium" which is just awesome every time i go back

 

Musuem

 

Concert / basball game / Highschool Football game / etc....something with a Ticket! ( stay away from MOVIES)

 

 

Take my advice my friend, and implement your own ideas into it, the results of the first date will have more pro's than con's.

[crizlee]

lol...well she read this in my journal also:

 

"A few weeks ago i met this girl at work, or should i say she met me. she invited me to hang out with her friends and party. she showed me the life i wish i had. at first she had confused me with her signals of calling me up and flirting with me. but now i think i understand, she wanted to know her boss's son. but after 2 weekends of me hanging with her and her friends, i think she has lost interest in me. i notice the flirting stopping, the replies to my txt messaging not coming. i felt insignificant again. and to think i started working more hours just to be around her to get that chance. but i tried to make matters better by stopping by work "to pick up drinks for my friends" but to really talk to her and ask her out. i need someone to talk to. life is pathetic, she was not at work. this girl, i felt like, she was one of a kind. shes smart, she has deep thoughts, she is beautiful. i dont want it to end. shes a really fun person, best of all, very unique. if there is anything i can do to make things work i would do it. my time with her was the best time ever in my life. i hope in the future i will have times like these again. but it still frustrates me that im left again in loneliness."

 

that night when we talked about relationships, she told me she is scared of dating, that she wants to take it serious, she doesnt play around. she hasnt dated for 3 years, and the last guy she dated was BAD. and it was after that conversation that i asked her out to do something. she told me to call her.

 

should i call her at the beginning of the day, or stop by work to see her, or call her when she gets off, or wait there when she gets off?

 

well shes into all this world culture stuff, so i was thinking of japanese restaurant sushi place, ice cream, and since my spot on the lake is taken by a stupid house i dont know where to go to afterwards. she did mention in her journal this one night when she was with one of her guy friends and he took her to this spot on the lake that she mentioned was gorgeous, and they were talking about this time they were drunk and kissed and they happen to kiss that night lol. should i ask her to show me that spot? lol it would be weird.

 

and should i pay for her food and such?

[S4il]

I think her words of "call me" may set you up for rejection, reason being your asking her over the phone, Its a whole lot easier for a women to say some knavishly toned excuse such as "I'm busy" or "i have plans sorry" and leave you hanging, I would do it in person!

 

About paying, it depends, Is this a DATE, as friends... or as B/F G/F you never specified that so I'm curious to know, if you don't know yourself, than play it safe and pay for some but not all of the things, if she offers to pay for her food or whatever, DON'T SAY NO, instead say "if you insist"

 

Don't forget things like (open doors, Pull chairs etc...) Those count..!

 

About her reading your journal, you said a lot about her, and i think that may or may not play out in your favor i can't say, It's to early, I think after you take her out..you than get (for yourself) get a more in depth judgment as to what her intentions are with you and her, if she wants to become what i said above "exclusive" or if she just wants to keep things casual and just as Friends..it's to soon to say.

 

"Time is of the Essense" and i think over time your going to want to be eager to jump into things right away, Sense that already from you..But hark attention to what she has already said to you she wants her next relationship to be serious,With that i think you can make things work, with a little effort, if you want it to work it's now an obligation on you, to make sure you can be just as serious as she is about dating.

[crizlee]

ok so ill just drive by work that sunday while im out cruising around, and say hi and see if she'll be able to do anything. if yes, then im planning on picking her up from her home and giving her the exotic flower that ill pick up, then going to this local seafood place called rockfish, then get ice cream, then go play pool, then take her to this pier this one girl told me was romantic. i hope everything works out. should i tell her where we're going or just play it cool and drive her around?

 

recently she mentioned she found the perfect costume of kurt and courtney for this costume party but it needed couples, so she needs a date. i hinted at that i could be her date by saying ps- i so look like kurt.