i want to get pregnant again NOW..i don't wanna wait

[shereen]

i just moved to new york , and i have a baby he's 11 month old , i'm staying at home coz of him i don't like the day care i don't trust them , then i was thinking of having another one right away coz i wanna have two but if i waited i'll have to wait more 4 years for the other baby, i mean more for years so i can put them in a school and go work....

the problem is that my husband dosn't want another one now may be in 5 years which is no good he's 46 and i'm 25 .

and if i waited 5 years that's mean that i'll have to stay at home for 8 years...that's not fair. plus my husband will be very old the kides will not gonna enjoy him that late....

[confuddled]

shereen,

 

You have explained some of your reasons for wanting to have another baby soon, but not really what your husband's reasons are for wanting to wait longer. Why does he feel that way? Also, if you know that you want to have more children, but just want to 'get them out of the way fast' so that you won't have to stay home with them, well that's maybe not the best reason in the world, even though I know how you feel.

 

I think a gap of two years is probably a good gap. Too close together and it can be pretty tough looking after them and too far apart and they sometimes don't get to 'play together' in the same way. It depends on much more than that though. Will your finances be able to handle it? Will you have made more friends in New York by then and maybe be able to arrange shared childcare with someone you trust? Maybe your husband feels a little left out because of the time and attention you have to spend with your baby and he wants you back to himself for a little while before you have another?

 

Whatever you feel, it's probably something you and your husband need to discuss thoroughly between you, recognising each other's viewpoints and concerns.

 

Good luck.

[shereen]

thank you so much confuddled for your concern...

i'm thinking about having another child is i feel so lonley and my husband dosn't want another baby now coz of his finance you r right, but the second child will not gonna cost us the same money that we spend on my baby because they gonna be 18 month different( that's what i want )

and about that he wants me with him that's not true coz i'm the one who always complaining from left alone and always telling him that after we had the baby everything changed and i'm really a good looking women and i'm taking care of my self more than you think , so it's not about that..i'm really sad...

[ForAnother]

I don't think that having a child out of lonesome is a good idea. My mom is depressed that all 3 of her chillun's have left. You may be satisfied now but, in years to come (you will be about 40ish when they both leave for college) everything will change. 40 is when men have their mid life crisis... so.

 

I am only 18, I can just judge from my family and what I have seen from other families... but having another for that soul purpose is kind of crazy. I don't know how to convince your husband lol. (I would have asked when you had the first child).

 

ForAnother