Really like some help, torn up inside..

[L24]

I got dumped nearly 3 months ago now. It was unexpected and bad time.

I never wanted it to be over, so i persisted, driving her away further. She is now doing a course somewhere else and is like a new life for her, crossing me off entirely and choosing to forget me. I tried to be a friend but was too painful.

 

I would give anything to have her back but i have come to accept there is nothing i can say or do anymore. its up to her and it doesnt seem that she wants to try again. Though i miss her so very much. I am in a lot of pain, full of regrets, upset etc... She was my first love which made matters worse. Ive gone down hill into a depression which led me to feeling like life isnt worth living at times.

 

I alot of peoples advice is to let go move on. only way forward. But im finding that very hard. Im not coping well. Im struggling to get up in the morning.

 

I wish i could talk to her about things, i feel like its unfinished business. But i dont think she would go for that.

 

Im confused and torn up inside when i try to think of new relationships. Not sure where to begin on this... people say time is a great healer, is that true?

 

How can I cope with memories etc... try to move on and live again?

Any advice / stories welcome thanks x

[utopie]

Hey L24. Don't beat yourself up. How long had you been together? 3 months is nothing, especially if you had been together for a while and she was your first love. I know it's impossible for you to think about that right now but you will love and be loved again. Whatever you brought into this relationship, what she found attractive in you is not gone. She didn't take it away from you. What you are and have to offer is still there, buried under the hurt and doubts. One day you will bring it back to the surface for everybody to see and a special person will cherish it.

As for the memories, cherish them but try not to romanticize them (think about the negatives). You broke up for a reason and it cannot be entirely your fault

[chr8st8na]

You should really soak in this experience because you will eventually learn and grow from it. Especially if this is your first break up with NC... they really do make a person emotionally and mentally tougher.

[winniethepooh]

Everything you say sounds normal in the aftermath of a breakup, especially for the person who was left. Your feelings will change, not overnight, but eventually, and in the meantime you need to focus on moving forwards, no matter how slowly.

 

I wish i could talk to her about things, i feel like its unfinished business. But i dont think she would go for that.

Yes, that's understandable. But you already tried, and pushed her even further away. So now all you can do is leave her alone and focus on you.

 

Im confused and torn up inside when i try to think of new relationships.

Try not to dwell on this for now. You will know when you're ready.

 

people say time is a great healer, is that true?

Yes

[L24]

I know exactly how you feel. It will get better. This clip always helps me for a bit of light relief when I feel blue ]

 

That was awesome did make me smile thank you

 

Thank you everyone for your advice and help.

 

It was 6 months the relationship. not long i know, but do you know how i mean by it doesnt matter how long, it just the feeling etc.. Like you say time will heal things.

 

Is it better to just not contact her ever or just till im ready which could be months and months. Trouble is i get jealous and hurt at the idea of her loving someone else. So is it better to just not contact and save myself the pain?