Help Required! (After Breakup)

[phattbeats]

Hi there all i'm new to the site and feel that by writing down my thoughts / feelings it may help.

 

Well it's not a good story unfortunately, my girlfriend and i have now been together for 4 years all in all. I adore the girl but do not think that i would marry her so i feel she may not be (the one). However We have split from each other about 4/5 times before and always sorted things out. We have lived together before and share the same circle of friends. About 4 weeks ago she decided to end it. Now things have not been right for a while and i had suspected that she was involved with someone else. The breakup hurt like hell and i had some hard weeks. We have since said to each other that we shall remain friends and i see her on a regular basis. The problem for myself is that by remaining friends i feel affection for her everytime i see her. I dont want to loose her completely as i really do love the girl, but i'm not sure if the friends thing will work. I mean if she didn't care i can't understand why she would want to be friends. Do i play it cool!! Do i tell her how i feel!!.

 

How knows!

 

Anyway to make the situation worse we are going on hols together next month and she says she still wants to go as friends. So i think again, hmmm friends or something more.

 

Some advice would help!!

 

Thanx

 

8)

[bravegirl04]

Hey i totally feel you. I dont know how old you are but i really see the point of a realtionship especially a long term one if you know you are not going to marry her. That is just wasting time and you could be out there finding your wife. I totally understand how hard it is to be friends with your ex. You see her tallking to guys and although you arent together, you cant say it doesnt hurt. So maybe you should try the no contact rule for a couple weeks and see how it goes. The moment she thinks shes gonna lose you she will be back. I hope it works out for you.

[DragonGirl724]

honestly, u cant be friends w/ someone u are in love with. i talked to my ex on casual basis online during breakup & wen hed see me out hed come chill w/ me, but i called him up the other day & said 'i cant handle this anymore. i love you to death & if theres no future i have to know so i can quit foolin myself.' & i knew bak in the day 6 months ago wen he broke up w/ me i wont be friends w/ him i cant be. i dont think its fair to you for her to get best of both worlds & u having to settle for wat she gives u. my heart breaks for u, for i know the unbarable pain that love burdens us all with...

 

good luck to you on this journey to heal.

 

-DG724