Reading into everything

[citylove]

I don't want to re-explain my whole story, but you can check out my older posts by clicking on my name.

 

I've been doing my best to avoid looking at my ex's Facebook profile, I have him blocked from my news feed and everything. I don't feel like I want to delete him because it seems like a childish move to me, and I don't want him to be angry, thus affecting the possibility of us getting back together someday. I don't want any unnecessary drama. I've also unfollowed his Twitter account. But I seem to lack self-control, and I have been vistiting his profiles on occasion. I feel like EVERYTHING he posts is directed at me, even though I know it isn't. He'll post something about a female artist he thinks is cute or he'll talk to another girl and use lots of smiley faces (I sound like a middle schooler, I know), and I immediately take it as a sign that he's fine without me and he is doing well on his own, loving his life. I hate it. I just want to know that he misses me. I'm so sick of feeling this way. I wish I could just break into his mind and find out what he's thinking.

[bdbmwer]

So youve admitted that youre basically torturing yourself by remaining friends with him because you read into everything he posts and he knows youre looking presumably so i wouldnt be suprised if he DOES add a little something to make you jealous because after all facebook is all about that. And you put up with all of this because you fear deleting him will lessen him because HE MAY percieve you as childish and you dont want HIM to be angry?

 

do you see where im going with this? he broke up with you and the moment he did that HIS feelings and opinions ceased to matter. This time period is all about YOU and YOUR healing. delete the man and trust me you will not look weak you will actually look like you had the strength to disconnect for your own healing process and may even spark a feeling of loss in him. Everything you do at this point should be for yourself and your own healing. You can always re add each other once you are healed and prepared to only be friends. at the end of the day FB means nothing. check out my threads if youd like to see more discussion on fb

[notimeman]

This is why I just deleted my ex from my facebook, along with her friends and family that I also befriended. Everyone knows you're in pain. Hell, the fact that you still care about him should be an important aspect. But the reason ex's come back (from what I've gathered), isn't because you miss them, but because they see what they saw before the relationship started. He's likely imagining a lot of things, but he already knows you blocked him, so what's deleting going to change?

 

Do it for yourself. I still look at her profile from time to time, but I'm comforted by the fact that I can only see her profile picture and her friendlist. I can dream up a number of possibilities, but at the very least I'm on restricted to reality. I can move on, and I can more easily push myself away from the grip she holds on me.

 

Of course, always leave an avenue for reconnection (my ex isn't blocked and she hasn't blocked me), but you have to heal and having his facebook around and constantly wondering what he's posting about is only going to make healing slower. Besides, do you really want to wake up one morning and see him in a relationship?

 

Good luck.

[citylove]

It's been over two months since the breakup and we haven't been on bad terms with the small amount of contact we've had. I've been implementing NC, but I have spoken to him several times about a mutual friend who is going through a serious situation right now. We did see each other once about three weeks ago, but that was after a period of month-long NC. I guess I'm just nervous that deleting him now, after all this time, will just make me look petty or immature.

 

But I also realize that this should be about ME and no one else... it's just hard to take that leap.

[bdbmwer]

yes it is hard to take that leap but trust me once youve had enough pain you will do it. and NC doesnt mean talking about mutual friends im sorry if it sounds harsh but NC needs to be commited to or not done at all. Only respond if his texts pertain to you and him and something regarding your relationship. It really doesnt matter how it looks in the end. he may not even notice that you deleted him and if he does A) that tells you he was trying to look at your page and B) you can politely tell him its so that you can heal.