I want to die

[debaser]

I have had nothing left to live for for the past two years or so...not one thing And I wish to end my life... do you think it's justifiable, seeing as I really don't have anything left to live for. I have no pleasure or enjoyment or even tolerance of anything. Is this ok to anybody...I mean, is it reasonable to do this? Thank you.

[PAdreamer]

Can I ask a question? Have you talked to your doctor about this?

[debaser]

Hi, no I haven't as I can't get to a doctor. I am agoraphobic to the point where I can't leave the house and my agoraphobia also means I cannot bear to be around anybody (apart from my partner) so I cannot even manage a house call. sorry.

[PAdreamer]

Do you think that if there was a chance you could get help, you would? If there was a small chance that you could fix everything, would you face your fears?

[melrich]

So if why don't you live for the advice you can dispense on this site. I have seen your posts you seem like a genuine caring person. No need to kill yourself at the moment. Keep going for a while, see how things pan out.

[debaser]

Well, there is no chance I could get help. I have tried everything over the past two years to try to get better

 

I'm not really sure, if there was a chance now, whether I would take it... I'm tired of life and I have no pleasure in anything. To be honest, I see no point in my life anymore as I have nothing and I'm just overwhelmingly miserable.

 

Thanks for posting, by the way, PAdreamer.

[debaser]

So if why don't you live for the advice you can dispense on this site. I have seen your posts you seem like a genuine caring person. No need to kill yourself at the moment. Keep going for a while, see how things pan out.

 

Thank you very much for the compliment....but I fear, I'm not a caring person in real life. I find it easier over here to try and be a nicer person, I don't know why. I mean, I try to be kind, but...I guess I just have a past/present that makes me seem bad.

[PAdreamer]

No need to thank me for posting. In a way I know how you feel. Granted I've never had to deal with a phobia like yours... But I've felt like there's nothing to live for... What about your partner? You mentioned that's the only person that you can be around. Can't you go on living for them?

 

Why do you say that your past makes you seem bad? And in regards to an earlier comment, there's NEVER a time or reason to kill yourself. I've dealt with a lot of suicide in my short life... You never know who you're affecting when you make a choice like that. There HAS TO BE something worth living for.

[debaser]

No need to thank me for posting. In a way I know how you feel. Granted I've never had to deal with a phobia like yours... But I've felt like there's nothing to live for... What about your partner? You mentioned that's the only person that you can be around. Can't you go on living for them?

 

Why do you say that your past makes you seem bad? And in regards to an earlier comment, there's NEVER a time or reason to kill yourself. I've dealt with a lot of suicide in my short life... You never know who you're affecting when you make a choice like that. There HAS TO BE something worth living for.

 

Sorry to hear you have felt like you had nothing to live for, and I'm glad you're now past those times.

 

Well, I love my partner very much, I have been with him for three years. But he has a temper problem - he doesn't hit me or anything like that - he just gets angry and finds things hard to deal with. He isn't a bad person, it stems from his childhood (and also the fact that our lives have been very stressful lately), and he's going to start anger management classes soon. But, at the moment, it's too hard to talk to him about how I feel as he gets too worked up in himself and it makes me very upset when he's like that

 

In my past I took drugs and drank heavily. I quit drugs and drinking 2-3 years ago now though. And also, people get the wrong idea about me My partner's friends and family think I've ruined his life. And people I meet on the internet just don't understand about my illness and it hurts me when I'm treated like I don't exist by everybody.

 

In regards to your last couple of sentences, I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm trying not to be selfish, I've been trying for years, but I really have nothing to live for. I can't think of one thing.

[SimplySarah]

hi.... i've never thought of ending my life despite the problems i have faced and is still facing in my life. I have one question though: do you believe in God? well, I myself, am not that religious person, so sometimes

I forget to ask God's help during times of troubles and despair. However,

there's always a reason to live life. look out, I know we cannot please all people that we meet, however there will always be people who we can, like our family. If living life is hard for you, just have time to breathe

fresh air, see nature outside the city, green trees, flowers, animals, these wonders can make you feel relieved from all the stress you are feeling.

Last, have faith in God. have you heard of this: "If God is with me, who can be against me?" keep that in your mind. each day you wake up think about it, instill it in your mind. before you go to bed, say it, leave all your burdens for the day. I hope I'm helping. Cheer Up!

[Mr Mister1]

richgabe did raise a good point that your imput on the site is valued by many, so while you may be a bad person (although I dont think you are) you do a lot of good in here and people value you for it, so your existence does benefit others.

[waveman322]

Dear Debaser,

 

 

I know that you feel you have nothing to live for, but that is because you are dwelling on the negative. I have know that it seems that suicide is the only answer to your problem. It is the beginning of even more problems for those you leave behind. Your loved ones will suffer everyday of their lives, because they will wonder why? They will blame themselves for your actions. It will be a series of "If only I did this or did that you would still be around.

 

I tried to commit suicide when I was 17 by taking an overdose of barbituates. I was lucky that I got really sick. When I recovered the problem that I was having was still there, but not as bad as my imagination had made it out to be. Had I succeeded in killing myself my son who is 20 now would not be here. The many people whose lives I would have touched would now be a little emptier, because I was not there.

 

A few years after that when I was about 22 I was riding a motorcycle at over 100mph and crashed. I walked away. I was lucky, but more importantly I think god was looking out for me. Twice after that I avoided dying in a car accident. Then about 2 years ago I got laid off from my job. While I was out of work I suffered a severe hearing loss. That put me into a sever depression and I was on the brink of suicide myself. I sat in a chair with a loaded gun in my lap and I was ready to end it all. I was unhappy, because of my hearing loss and not being able to find a job. My marriage was falling apart. I realized that it would be really easy to end it all that night. Then I thought about all those who I loved and how it would affect my son. I got into therapy and was put onto antidepressant.

 

My marriage continued to slide down hill. I realized that my marriage was a toxic relationship that only added to my deperession. Well the therapy helped me to survive the depression. Then my marriage ended, but I am now going back to school to get my 4 year degree. It is a slow process. I am still looking for a job as I learn to adapt to my hearing loss and eventually becoming deaf.

 

I could have given up but not me. Never give up on life.

[SimplySarah]

wow, you're such a brave man Mr. WaveMan. I hope that would indeed change her way of thinking.

[i_hate_the_world47]

Well you said you cant stand to be around anyone but your partner.Have you talked to your partner about this.And you said you have nothing to live for,you have your partner to live for.Please hang in there.Things WILL get better,just ive it aalittle more time.

 

~Meagan~

[accord_lowrida]

ye been there many times its all about can u see your future ?. i lost everything last month and i been everything i didnt have a dolller in my wallet. lost my job. lost the only person who cared about me. i was lied to for a long time. and im all alone now. but things are kinda geting better for me. i used to think that nothing will ever be the same i been happy for a year and half and now its all gone. but then i saw my future i saw all the things i can do. so theres no point killin your self just yet. but thats me. what about you ? is there anyone out there u think cares about you ? or anything. even the smallest things can help you out. i know they helped me. just think twice before u act.

[thisisnotanexit]

i'm really sorry to hear about everything. life is hard, i agree, but i also believe that it is so uncertain, death is never something that should be done to one's self. i mean, if you kill yourself, because you feel at the moment you have nothing to live for, how would you know what could happen in the future..possibly near future? something could happen to change the way you feel about life. we all get in slumps, i can agree with that. i've been on the verge of suicide more than once, but in the end i realize everytime that i'm glad i didnt do it. when things better, as they do with time, you appreciate the good because youve dealt with so much bad...i guess thats how we grow. you appear to be a wonderful person and i would hate to see someone as special as you take your life. please give it time and please reconsider. be strong and know that suicide is never the answer. take care and please feel free to contact me