He found out I like him, how do I avoid the awkwardness??

[usababe]

Hey, I hope I'm posting this in the right place. Well, I need some advice form both guys and girls ok...

I've liked this guy for about a month now, he works in the bar that I go to all the time with my friends. We're the same age and we recently started talking to him. Anyway my friend is going out with his friend and she told her boyfriend, who told him Which was really embarrassing cos he said he didn't want a relationship at the moment but I was fine with that as long as we could still talk to him.

I finally plucked up the courage to go in there again and he was actually really nice to me - called me by my name for the first time.Then, some other girl I don't know overheard me talking about him one night and went over to him, told him I was mad about him and got him to come and get me. He went and brought me to the other bar (where he was going) with my friend and left us! I'm so embarrassed now, I don't know how to act around him. Should I just pretend I don't know he knows? I really don't want to avoid him cos I think that would make it really awkward in future. But I really don't wanna freak him out or make him think I'm obsessed with him or something. I just want things to go back to the way they were, is it too late for that??

Sorry this has been so long but I really need some advice from a neutral perspective, thanks.

[Memj]

If he already knows just tell him yourself. There is no reason to be bashful. Guys face this sort of rejection all the time. Worst that happens is that he says he doesn't like you. Best is that you found a new friend or possibly future boyfriend. Just bite the bullet. The longer you wait to do so, the more akward it will be. If he doesn't make the move then you should, nothing gives a guy more encouragement to date a girl then having one make a pass at him. Be aggressive.

[Boughx]

Well from the sounds of it, it doesnt sound like it is too late for anything. Remember love is patient, and if you ever want a good relationship you will take it slow (not telling you that you have to but its my sugestion). I have found that real good relationships exist in people who started as friends first, and moved to being best friends then love. Its not too late for anything, next time you see him just say hey whats up, and talk like your his friend, you dont have to rush anything, and as for the other girls that told him that you are madly in love with him, forget about them, in fact they might have done you better by telling him. Now he knows that you have feelings for him, so he wont be surprised in the future if you pull any moves on him 8) . So anyways just keep cool about the whole thing and dont act to strange around him, try to get to know him more, but just act like your his friend. I hope I helped, this is my first post here, but I have been helping all of my friends with their love problems for years. Good luck and if you need more help just message me.

[Boughx]

hmm memj has a good point

[sisterlynch]

Don't avoid seeing him, just avoid talking about him, that was the thing that got you into trouble right? You were fine when it was just you and your friend and the other guy who knew that you liked him. Talking to the other person brought in another perspective that you were--mad at him, but that wasn't the case at all until the 3rd party went and talked to him, right??

 

Be neutral to him, not too friendly and not angry and if he ever talks to you again, say I am sorry if I put you in an awkward spot, you are just very cute to me and I got carried away.

 

That should put him at ease I would think. Learn that you can't always talk to people about your deeper feelings. Especially in a public place.

[usababe]

Thank you all so much, you have made me look at this from a totally different angle.

Sisterlynch you are definitely right, If theres one thing I've learned from this whole mess is NEVER ever tell anyone you can't trust, that you like someone.

I'm trying not to be mad at the people that told him, cos I know they just wanted us to get together but I do feel they've ruined things for me. I used to love going in to his bar but now I just feel awkward and self-conscious.

I know he doesn't have feelings for me though, so that's why I don't want to say anything to him - I would have eventually told him myself if I thought he did.

I would love to know how he might be feeling about the whole thing, when he sees me coming into the bar does he think "oh no". Any guys wanna give me their opinion on this- how would you feel in his situation?

Thanks so much everyone, you really have helped me

[theghost]

you can try to make him like you...by one, don't show any signs that you like this guy. Then eventually he would wonder why you don't act as if you like him, then he will start to like you a bit.

 

So basictly treat him as a stranger, and small flirt with other guys, but don't flirt too much, that would make him a bit jealous (I don't know, thats how we are) also if you flirt too much, he might think you are just some girl looking for any guy. It wouln't hurt to say hi to him once in a while, so he still think he has a chance.

[sisterlynch]

You still have your friend and her BF to count upon, right? She should probably know the nights that the person in question is working and isn't working, so you can still go on the nights he isn't there, right??

 

After 2 weeks, come in and just sit somewhere that he can't see you and do your thing. Maybe after a while he will notice you and come over and say hi. You need to separate your need for a BF from random friendships with people. You can do this, you need to tell yourself that you are too good enough. this will take some time, because you have been hurt in public and that is painful I know.

 

2 weeks should give him some time to let go of the initial shock and he ought to see this as a compliment and not an act of desperation on your part. You have eyes, right? You can see a cute guy with out finding out his address and phone number, right? It is just a new way of seeing the world. You cannot control others, only you can control you...

[usababe]

I think the best thing to do now is forget about him, it's really hard though. Is there anyone elso going through this??