Recent Happenings

[downout]

Well I am 28 and I still dont have a girlfriend but lately I have been forcing myself to become more social and to start taking some risks. I recently met an attractive greek girl through my neighbours g/f. The 4 of us were over there one night drinking, laughing, and partying. Anyways this girl Tula said I was gorgeous and we kissed like 3 times and I was laying on top of her on the couch for a while. Then out of nowhere she said she had to leave. I think she wanted to go all the way but as I am kind of shy around girls I wasnt quite ready and I guess she figured this wasnt going anywhere. I was kind of drunk and I forgot to write down her number which she gave me. Its been a few weeks and i still havent gotten her number as my neighbour thinks she isnt the kind of girl I am looking for at this age so I didnt really press to get her number. He said that I might be to nice a guy to be with her as she is more outgoing and open than I am as well as being about 5 years younger. kind of regertting this now because I asked him again yesterday to get the number from his g/f and I heard she might now be seeing someone. I guess I should have done it that night just so I could at least get some experience.

 

Recently I went to the movies with a friend and approached 2 girls sitting together at a table whom I found very attractive. My friend has a g/f for 5 years so I went up to them by myself and asked them if they might like to hang out later. They rejected my offer saying that they had boyfriends. I dont really know if they were telling the truth or not but I was surprised I was able to sum the courage to do something like that which is totally out of my comfort zone(approaching two strangers). Of course I was disappointed they didnt accept but what can I do.

 

I have also been going to the clubs recently after a 3 year hiatus and have been striking up converstations with men and women and was able to approach some nice looking girls and get quite a few free smokes on more than one occasion. I met one girl named BJ, she told me right away she was married at 23 but we still talked for like 2 hours. At the end of the night she said I was a cool guy and that she liked me. I was still down though because she is already taken and that seems to be my biggest problem. Even though I am starting to move away from my comfort zone and take chances it dosent seem to be paying off. I know that to get a girlfriend I like I have to take some risks but when u keep doing it over and over and have nothing to show for your efforts it becomes very depressing. I am trying to go out with a smile on my face, be friendly, look interested but it is starting to get extremely difficult. I always seem to have to initiate the conversation and I really wish someone would initiate it with me for once. But I guess when people dont really care about you or dont think highly of you they just pass you like a rock on the street.

[lillady898]

It' so awesome that you can move out of your comfort zone like that. Many people refuse to do that. However, you should ask yourself why you want a girlfriend? You should go out and meet people only with the expectation of having fun and making some new friends, not finding a partner. Good things come to those who wait, anyway. So... I think you should just go out and have fun meeting people. Eventually you will come accross the right one who will want a relationship with you.

[CarterJonas]

Asking someone out that you do not know is always a chance, but it is a chance that a lot of us has to take.

 

You know what has to be done, and since it involves moving out of your comfort zones, well done. Remember that there are other places to meet girls as well, through friends, work, gym, online even, evening classes.

 

Keep doing what you are doing, trying to be friends with that person first, and you will eventually find a date.

[downout]

It' so awesome that you can move out of your comfort zone like that. Many people refuse to do that. However, you should ask yourself why you want a girlfriend? You should go out and meet people only with the expectation of having fun and making some new friends, not finding a partner. Good things come to those who wait, anyway. So... I think you should just go out and have fun meeting people. Eventually you will come accross the right one who will want a relationship with you.

 

I want a girlfriend simply because I am human and 28 years of being single is really making me sick, literally. I really want companionship, someone to be there for me and someone to get close to. I have been hanging around my "single guys group" thing for to long and I want something more. I mean I know you have to have friends and a balance in life but I have far to much male contact and very little female interaction. Going out and meeting new friends can be pretty tough as well but at least I am giving it a whirl. One thing I do notice is that most people sort of stick to their group and dont really socialize outside of it. That makes it hard for people like me who are out there trying to meet someone and hopefully find a girlfriend. That unfortunately takes time which at my age working full time and such u just dont have alot of it. Maybe good things do come to those who wait but honestly if I have to wait another 5 years for something to happen it will drive me crazy. Its possible nothing may come to those who sit around and wait.

[downout]

Asking someone out that you do not know is always a chance, but it is a chance that a lot of us has to take.

 

You know what has to be done, and since it involves moving out of your comfort zones, well done. Remember that there are other places to meet girls as well, through friends, work, gym, online even, evening classes.

 

Keep doing what you are doing, trying to be friends with that person first, and you will eventually find a date.

 

Thats essentially what I have been doing. Trying to establish a rapport and get to know them on a friend basis first before making any premature advances. I am getting better at reading body language and finding out if they have boyfriends or are married. That seems to be the biggest problem, most girls my age, 28 seem to be in a serious relationship or are married. I honestly only know 1 girl my age who is still single and that kind of sucks as the pool is very small to choose from. I mean i can talk to all the girls I want but if they are all happy with where they are then I still end up alone and bored.

[Ceema-k]

hi Down&out....

I replied mainly to encourage what you are doing. To go out of your comfort zone and approach that table of girls cold like that takes cajones, especially if you're as shy as you say you are.

 

You sound like you're going through the right motions, but as someone already mentioned, you may be putting too much pressure on yourself to meet a girl. I fall into that trap all the time: I'll got out to a club or party and will have meeting a potential mate in my mind so much that, hello, I forget to have any fun.

 

Dating, as they say, is a numbers game. Keep going out & having fun and being proactive and a girl will come around to her senses sooner than you think.

[jurupa]

I give you credit for approach girsl you don't know and asking them out. I can't do that, but I am getting closer tho. But the reason I am replying is that when you force your self to talk to girls, they may see it and don't want to hurt you by doing anything to make you think that they are interested. I have found that if you show confidence in your self and are somewhat clam I tend to do better around girls I do not know. But I am not you so I don't know what would work for you.