Logic vs emotions when choosing a partner

[dark angel9]

All my life, I have followed emotions when picking boyfriends. They were always disastrous choices. I payed no attention to compatibility but went for the feeling of butterflies. Men were ALWAYS unsuitable (and I don't mean they didn't fulfill my checklist). They were either emotionally unavailable to me or substance abusers or we had zero in common past physical attraction.

 

Now at 32, I decided to take a more logical approach. My current boyfriend and me have been together for 3 months. He is a great match for me. We get along better than I did with anyone else. He is also good looking. BUT - I never felt butterflies for him, never felt real passion or desire to rip his clothes off. Intimate encounters with him are pleasant but don't rock my world. Yet, I could easily see settling down with him.

 

The ideal would be of course the man that has my boyfriend's personality AND makes me feel mad passion. But I have never met such a man and I doubt that I ever will.

 

I have to be realistic, I am not getting any younger and the pool of available mates is rapidly shrinking. I remember years I have spent getting used for sex, lying men and just dating in general and going back to that makes me want to throw up.

 

Perhaps making a logical choice isn't all that bad?

[Blackey]

Well...to be honest, there is no one correct approach... in an ideal situation both emotions and logic should be used to find somebody who is compatible that you are also crazy about, but lets admit it, this world is far beyond being perfect, and it is extremely hard to find the perfect match.

It is a risk you are taking here, because in the future it might bug you that he is lacking something you really need.

I always say that somewhere you do have to compromise to reach balance and stability, now you have to think for yourself, is it something you are willing to compromise on (this physical passion you are longing for) ? is it something you can live without?

From there you will have to make the choise, if you think that it is something you can leave out and live without, so stay with this guy, but if this is something that is very important for you, chances are that it will affect the relationship at one point or another, so maybe you should keep on looking.

As i said, it is a risk, and you are the only one who can calculate if its worth taking and what is the next move.