Help i need advice!

[anf07]

Ok . im really into this girl and from what she tells me shes into me too . she says she likes me, that im great to her and make her feel special and all that but when we get close she backs off.. she just got off a 4 yr relationship so im GUESSING she wants her single time but i dont see how you can "like" someone and not want to be with them. she says give it time n see what happens but i duno... so anywayy my question is whatt can i do to get her to change her mind and want a relationship already? is there anything?

[sayer7]

If she just got of such a committed relationship she might be scared to committ too quickly and wants to do thing right this next time around.

 

I would say enjoy the time with her as much as you can, an be a friend first and foremost and make her feel safe with you. She may have some trust issues she needs to get over from the last relationship and if so, consistency and safety with you will help her trust you more.

 

Give it time...give her some time to heal if she needs it. Try not to pressure her into something she's not ready for just yet.

[anf07]

thanks for the advice.. but if i could spend time with her then everything would be ok . but she doesnt wanted to spend much time cause she gets scared..

[little242]

Yeah, I have to agree with "sayer" it's not easy. You should look at it from the perspective that it sounds like she respects you and doesn't want to hurt you by going out with you and then later finding out that she's not ready.

 

Guys can do some really twisted things to girls leaving them in a whorl of emotions and unsure of themselves, that may not be the case here for her. However, since it was such a long relationship, she may still have left over feelings for him that she needs to resolve. You don't just get over someone in a day unfortunately.

 

So I would say to stay friends with her, who knows what can happen? 8)