past suicide attempt comes back

[philipp]

I am writing this because I am seeking help. I am at a point where I was four years ago when my first relationship broke down and I live today because of a coincidence.

After three years I thought I found my luck and happiness and committed

to a person I met a year ago. I became so happy in this relationship that I gave it all. We lived together. A few days ago, my boyfriend told me that he didnt fall in love with me, broke up and left the country for holidays.

I feel lonely, I feel broken, I failed my exams, I am falling and falling. I feel pain everywhere and have no energy anymore. There is nobody here.

I feel like I felt before many years ago but this is so much stronger and

I cannot survive this. Everything here reminds me of him, i cannot sleep, i cannot eat i cant do anything more, my mind is clouded and my heart is empty. He took away my life, my hopes and my happiness. if there is anybody available, please try to get in touch with me as i dont know how much longer i can hold myself. p

[paul475]

...I had a couple of experiences with the ladies in my life like this. Our sexual identities may be different, but the emotional results are extremely familiar.

 

It's important to know that you are not wrong to feel the way you feel. What you are feeling is not, "normal," but given your background and upbringing, it is perfectly understandable. You will find this out at a feeling level when the time comes. Right now it's just a buncha words.

 

Know that these feelings are not forever. These feelings will not kill you even though they feel like you are dying, or going crazy. If you spend more than a couple weeks without uninterrupted sleep, get some outside help from a psychiatrist or a trusted MD. Sleep helps.

 

This crushing depression you are experiencing is clearly life-threatening. You are right to ask for help with these feelings. These feelings are extremely overwhelming and, as I'm sure you realize at a feeling level now, can easily lead just about anyone to end their lives.

 

But this isn't necessary. It may make things harder for you in the long run. Alot of suicides don't succeed, leaving the victims maimed or damaged and unable to enjoy their lives after the feelings pass.

 

I won't overwhelm you with everything I've learned, but I will tell you that there is hope for you to enjoy your life without these crushing dependencies on other people. You can have the love you need to live, but you do need to understand that some growth on your part will be required.

 

Once you achieve this growth, you won't be attracted to people who could, or would, do this to you. And they won't be attracted to you, either. This process takes some time, but simply putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, will get you through. If you can learn to take care of yourself appropriately when you are this depressed, you will be that much stronger for the growing you're going to need to do.

 

But for now, get some rest, eat right, and find some compassionate and trustworthy folks you can hang with. I would recommend a CoDA group or an AA group that identifies itself as "lambda" or as a gay and lesbian group meeting. There may be predators in the group, so keeping your dukes up, emotionally, is appropriate. But I think you will find the love you need to heal from this trauma, the last trauma, and the trauma that set all of this torment into motion in the first place.

 

There is hope.

[michaeltinker]

 

 

look at him as a flower that blooms once in a lifetime last for a short period never to live again but in memory. one will experience many loves in a life time some lasting for onlly a glance others lasting for eturnity.

 

as you know it was not ment to be and you will find your soul mate or grow to become a team with anoughter.

 

draw your strength from with in not from with out.

 

much love

Michael