Two months of little or no contact - how do I start again

[DrNick]

My ex and I had an acrimonious break up. We work together, but I instituted no contact (ie. I tried to keep my distance at work). It's now been about two months since we had any meaningful interaction. It's become a little silly avoiding each other constantly, so I want to rebuild the relationship, but I don't want to talk to her directly, because I know it will only push her away as she will feel threatened and think I'm making demands. I have tried being friendly around her, and I seem to have got some response (ie. sometimes she seems to acknowledge my presense and looks like she wants to talk to me). She is a very proud person and would never be the first to break down. I tried talking to her a couple of times, but that didn't work, so I can only break down the barriers in more subtle ways. So what can I do to start breaking down the barrier? I know it will be a long and hard road, but I think it's worth it. Should I continue to be friendly around her or is there a more active role I can take? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[butterflykiss04]

Well sounds like you are not over her you are in a bad situation because you cant avoid her all together I would advice you to let your feelings be known if you want to try to work things out or just be friends but you need to be prepared to accept what ever she says. Stay strong and good luck!

[/i]

[DrNick]

Thanks for the advice. I am trying to be nicer to her, but it's very difficult when you get no response.

[lisaria]

Hi DrNick,

I could not imagine working with my ex, seeing him all day, every day. Geesh. How have you gotten through it?

I think that you should be friendly, polite, but distant. Professional.

Be yourself around her. Act like you did before you two became an item. Is that any option or are you still too emotionally involved?

It's a really tough call for you and I wish you alot of luck.

lisaria

[DrNick]

Hi Lisaria, before we went out we were quite good friends. Since she joined the firm we got on well, and used to talk about all sorts of things. When I broke up with my last gf, she comforted me, and then we started going out shortly afterwards (yes, I know, maybe that wasn't the best thing to do). Anyway, what hurts me is that we were the best of friends before we started going out, and now we've gone from friends to lovers to avoiding each other. It's a very difficult thing to handle. As you said, all I can do is be polite and friendly but keep emotionally distant. It's very difficult (I'm not a good actor at the best of times) but it's all I can do Thanks for the advice.