Ever have any regret of messing up and letting a good man/woman leave you

[harkkam]

Like the questions states, what if you believe you were majority responsible for the fights and eventually led to the demise of the relationship with a person who you absolutely loved and admired. Thought they had all the qualities that you were ever looking for in a person and because you're lack of maturity you were insecure and argumentative and uncompromising.

 

And now are filled with regret when you realize just how hard it is to find a person whom you even connect with on even half the level that you did with the person you used to have.

 

But know that their is no possibility of you ever getting back to each other either, because the person just is turned off by you.

[marcs]

yep going through it right now, 5 weeks since BU and not getting any better. I've learned that destiny can have a cruel twist of fate.

[sunday2010]

I'm regretting it big time but he left me anyway i loved ,my ex of course now i don't after all he did to me...but yeah 6 mths later trying to date is a nightmare and would rather be with my ex... he doesn't see it that way...my ex and i had superior chemistry just amazing you can't find it anywhere .. its pretty soul destroying... reality is very tough.... i haven't found anybody its six months on..... i don't know what the future holds....ist very very scary,......

[SicFounder]

yup. but you gotta accept it eventually.

[harkkam]

Yeah its been six months for me as well, and every time I see an old picture of her with her smile and that friendly expression, it just makes me jump inside for a second and then I feel sad as hell again. Makes me realize how damn in love and happy I was but too wrapped up in my own head to see it.

 

If there was a way that I could look past it all and find some mistakes of hers, it might be easier but I cant really think of any.

[generaldiscord]

I think it's a serious character flaw, one that deserves some considerable work, to punish the people you love for imagined infractions. I had one boyfriend long ago who had a serious attitude, and would berate me over imaginary conflicts whenever he was in a bad mood. Before I came to terms with my periodic moodswings, I justified the same behavior.

 

No more! Now I believe it is everybody's -duty- to be in a decent mood. You're stressed? Me too. Let's both not make it worse for each other, right? And really, our lives aren't that bad that we can claim unbearable emotional pain most of the time. With moods, if you smile and laugh for a while, eventually your mood will come around.

 

Also, if you think about it, men are just people too. They tend to be seriously unimpressed by dramatic emotional temper shows. In fact, despite the typical rom-com attitude that women somehow have the license to behave irrationally and cruelly to their lovers, men seem to find it about as charming as women would find such behavior in a man.

 

But should've would've could've never did anybody any good. Don't mourn too much for the past. Instead, in the future, just don't make the same mistakes.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Oh yeah. I realized too late that my ex is the sort of woman who when she was running out the door actually wanted me to stop her and proclaim my love and devotion to her. I could have done that I suppose, but it's more my personality to let people do what they want to do. I figured, if you want to leave, then I'm not going to chase you. But she apparently needed to be chased a bit. She just needed so much reassurance.

 

That being said, there were plenty of things I did during the relationship that led to her leaving. I'm smarter about these things now, and would handle them differently. The other side of this is that my ex also played a role in those parts of our relationship that weren't working well. It wasn't just me, but I fully own my part of it, and if there were a way to make amends for the ways I let her down, I'd do it in a split second. However, she found a new boyfriend and went NC on me. It makes me wonder how many relationships have died a permanent death because one person or the other gave up too easily. Oh well. What's done is done.