Going into a relationship half hearted

[TOA]

Hi all,

 

I begun seeing this girl around a week ago and since we've hung out together nearly every night.

 

I found myself calling her when I'd had a few drinks on Saturday night cause I knew she would come and then I had someone with me, after all I have spent so many nights out just wanting to have someone with me, not to pick up.

 

So anyway, I know she is keen on me and I know this could go somewhere but right now I just don't know if it's fair to even try as I don't have strong feelings yet.

 

There is a possibility I may move interstate at the end of this month which would end it definitely but should this have been worth it I could try to stay.

 

I think my main problem is I was hurt by a girl a year ago and I don't think I have had enough time to get over her because in my head I say I don't want a girl friend but immediately I think, what if my ex asked to take me back - I would probably consider it.

 

Does this sound familiar or make sense? or cents

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

[spatzcolumbo]

That makes more sense than you could imagine!!!

 

I am in this exact same situation!!! I have been seeing this new girl for about a month now (but strictly only 2 weeks as she has been away for the last 2 weeks!!).

 

I know that part of my feeling towards her is that she is there, and she is someone nice to spend time with...but that i would rather be spending time with my ex!! I have had the conversation with myself about how i shouldn't be with this girl if that is how i feel, but then i think that maybe the first relationship after your ex is ALWAYS going to feel weird and difficult.

 

So i am confused as to whether i give in and finish it before its really got anywhere, or just take it easy and let it play out naturally.

 

Just when i thought i was getting over my ex, i start thinking about her more and more.

 

I have also had thoughts of "i just want to be single". I realised how much fun i was having being single - meeting a lot of new women!! But i realised that the only relationship that i would really feel 100% about is a fresh relationship with my ex!!!

 

Its a difficult situation.

[TOA]

Exactly!

 

That's really odd - you're in the same situation as me!

[goddess23]

hey i just posted a "new topic" on the same situation that im going through. its like u like this person, genuine feelings but at the same time you think you like your ex more.

 

well im still confused about my own feelings. but im so in love with the person i am with now, i cannot imagine my life without him now. yet there are qualities in my past love that my present love doesn't have.

 

honestly, if you really like the person you are with now, then let it be. but if you know that you have a chance with your ex, even just on talking terms, to straighten things out, you should. you should figure out exactly what your situation is regarding your ex. because why ruin a good thing for something that is definitely your past and is there just to serve as a memory. and on the other hand, why go through a relationship that you don't feel you're giving your all which ultimately hurts both of you.

 

if in your heart, you know that you have strong feelings for your current gf, and are dedicating yourself fully, and just using your past as a way to reminisse. to learn from, to look back and laugh or cry about then it's fine. our past makes us who we are, and sometimes it's tough to let go. but if what you have going with this girl is good, then don't ruin it for your minds cruel way of interrupting. but ultimately, i think that if you are still in contact with your ex, then you should definitely figure out exactly where both of you stand.