Why is it hard to accept?

[Celadon]

Does anyone else have this experience: You *know* about someone's flaws, but they bug you anyway?

 

I was just wondering why it is sometimes hard to accept people as they are. Like, I get mad because a friend lies to me, but then, she frequently lies to people. That's just the way she is.

 

Or, it bothers me that a co-worker is incredibly ambitious and is always talking himself up.

 

I was reading that if you can just accept how the other person is, you won't get mad about it anymore. But I haven't quite figured out how to just "accept" -- does anyone have advice? I don't want other people's behavior to bother me. Thanks!!

 

P.S. Yes, I do know I have flaws myself, so I don't think I'm on a superiority trip or anything.

[brokenpogostick]

maybe it's just that the particular behaviors are hard for you to understand...people fear or get mad at what they don't understand.

[johnagent1911]

I wouldn't call being ambitious a flaw... Anyhow just relax. I'm sure you can find other things to stress about.

[brokenpogostick]

maybe too it's something about yourself that you don't like and it's causing you to obsess about everyone else...not being rude, just a suggestion

[sisterlynch]

I wish I had a dollar for everytime I felt the way the writer feels. It is difficult to connect to someone who lies and is overly ambitious. These are both things that set me off too. I am not sure if I even have an answer better than the ones that are already up there.

 

I guess the real need is to distance yourself on the behavior rather than the person. Some people will say that if you lie and cheat, that makes you a liar and a cheater, but the truth is that we are all full of different qualities and behaviors that are strengths in some areas of life and also weaknesses in other areas of life.

 

I have found that meditation and yoga gives me the confidence to ignore the little things and pay attention to the bigger picture.

 

Sometimes being a bit of a liar and a bragger is ok, just to keep it in check. Did I mention that I am getting straight As in my post doctorate work?? Just as an example ...