How would you react if you learned that your SO purposely wanted you to get on meds?

[bobbydigital83]

I have one of the craziest stories I have lived through and I am about lost of how to explain it. Basically my ex and I (as of yesterday) have been seeing a couples counselor for over a year. This consoler never heard my thoughts nor cared for my feelings. She did care very much for my lady even though she was caught in many blunt lies. Well to the point, my lady manage to tell our counselor that I had a severe jealousy problem and control issues and it was driving her crazy. I didn't see it nor believe it at first but then our consoler began to say my trait was "devastating," so it made me believe I had a problem. My counselor said I should talk to my physician which I openly did and he provided me with some anti-depressants. Fast forward, when I began to "improve," i wanted to my lady to tone down her anger at me. She tried to find other things but I stood my ground and surprisingly she called it quits.

 

Well I had both of our workbooks and after she decided to call it quits, I just read through her notes. In her notes, she for some odd reason said that she purposely planned to make me look bad. She also wrote that once I was "guilty" then she can demand anything she wanted without anything in return. She also wrote that she purposely found ways to provoke my "insecurities." She also wrote that it would excuse her from trying if she convinced everyone that I was at fault. How do I not get depressed knowing that she would do such a thing to the father of her son (my son and I love each other very much)? I was basically ganged up upon in our sessions. Im moving on but how do set myself up to recover. She basically planned for me to get on meds and was happy in a sinister way to keep me on it. And I just learned that she planned a flight to hawaii resort with someone else when I was suppose to be somewhere else. Dang, I am out of thoughts and words. Any advice?

[Esteller]

wow thats a messed up situation. but you realize how bad of a person this lady is? do you really want that? if anything that would make me angry and realize so much and be happy about myself that im free from torment. but you have to come to accept this in order to move on. thats just my opinion.

[Cognitive_Canine]

This woman is insane. I'm sorry that you encountered such a sick and twisted woman in your life.

 

I hope in time you can recover the feeling of security that you lost.

[I_Speak_Jive]

Reading that I feel like I just fell down the rabbit hole. Clearly, she's been eating a big bowl of crazy for breakfast every morning, but the thing that really fascinates me is that she kept such detailed records of her twisted machinations. I mean what the hell.

 

You have basically just been very, very unlucky to encounter (and fall in love with) someone like that. It's not your fault, it's just a tragic accident. I hope you are well and that you will keep as much distance as is humanly possible between you and her.

[bobbydigital83]

She didn't keep detailed records but it was in a couples workbook journal that we had. What was the shock was that she was really open for that moment. Like for 5 minutes she realized who she was inside so she wrote it down but then when the 5 minutes were up, the doors shut like a door to a bank vault... to be never opened again.

 

One day our son will not understand what happened and being asking questions? What can I do when he begins questioning why his parents are not together? Even though what she did was sick, she is still my son's mother. I find explaining this to him in the future will be more difficult than explaining the birds and the bees. Any thoughts?

 

A family elder who is helping me navigate through these crazy waters told me that my former lady may be obsessed to be the victim in every situation. My elder said that my former lady might have a crazy belief that victims have some kind of unlimited power. So a victim is only a victim when someone is the aggressor. Could she have a obsession to be a victim?

 

All the sweetest things I did for her I understand were only reinforced her "sickness." So am I to blame because I loved her? Did I myself fuel it? Did I put more coal into the fire? These are some of the questions I am asking myself daily.

 

Our former couples counselor STILL thinks she the abused one and I am jealous and controlling aggressor. With the strong evidence that I have shown people, my "name" has been "cleared." There is almost nobody who believes my former lady now. My former lady is ignoring all contact attempts from my family and even from her own. She does still keep in contact with our counselor though. Most of my previous threads basically outline our relationship. I also now wonder if my lady had to do something with some mental troubles I went a few years back. I have very little answers to my tons of questions.

[3boys]

I wouldn't EVER tell your son the truth. I can't think of ANY circumstance under which a child needs to know that about a parent. Any mental health professional worth their salt would tell you the same...

 

As far as your ex always needing to be the "victim," yes, there are people who are like that. I happen to know one. No matter what happens, it is always someone else's "fault" and she is 100% blameless. It is actually a type of personality disorder. I'm actually surprised she got the counselor to believe it, particularly if she was caught in a bunch of lies....