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I talked to my ex after a year

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Yesterday was my high school graduation so I decided to say goodbye to my ex boyfriend. I had not talked to him in over year ever since I found out he had been lying to me. I just wanted to get some things off my chest and I just wanted to ask him some things. I just said congratulations and I told him that I forgave him. I also told him that I was happy for him. He told me that he had been wanting to apologize to me but never had the courage to do so. Deep down I still have feelings for him but I know that I have to get over him because he loves his girlfriend. The funny thing is that he told that he does not think they're going to last because he is moving away and going to some university that is one hour away from where we live. We talked for about 10 minutes. I basically told him that I was there for him if he ever broke up with her. I don't even know why I told him that. I didn't think I was going to feel so sad after talking to him. I could not sleep at night and I cried because I felt like my heart was broken all over again. He is having such a great life unlike me. He won a scholarship and graduated with honors. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my life.

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