Where's the skip button?

[MalibuOne]

It's the beginning of Day 10. It's pouring rain and I got no sleep last night. My stomach is in a knot, I feel weepy and I haven't shaved my legs in days. Spent last night thinking about what I'm going to say the next time I see him, what to wear, (and yes, in my fantasy my legs are smooth, my hair is perfect and I'm smiling), and just generally working out how the reconciliation will play out. How pointless is that?? Man, if I don't like a song, I hit skip. Wishing I could skip today because I don't like where I'm at and wanna be past the point of having fruitless conversations that only occur in my messed up head. I wonder if he misses me...I wonder when I'll stop caring.

[paulod]

Hey there Malibu!

Told ya I'd check up

 

What happened to that confident, successful woman you were on about last night?? hmm?? you need to get some sleep!!! I know its very hard and you are only at the beginning but you got to stay strong, look whats been happening to me over the last few days, I've had another "episode" where I've got so down and it's been 4 months since my breakup!

Conversations will go round and round in your head for a long time, I have them all the time but that's all part of the process I guess, drives me bonkers somedays!!

 

You got to keep looking after yourself.....and that includes shaving your legs!! you women feel better when you do that....at least I think you do?? do try and get some sleep though...depriving yourself of that wont help, will just make things worse

Go get some kip for a bit, it will help, honest

[TSandullo]

I hope you are reading this AFTER a good sleep

 

Fortunately...I repeat, fortunately we do not have a skip button.

 

this way we experience the joyful pain of the entire process, without which we would not emerge wiser, emotionally stronger and more intelligent as well as a whole lot sexier (I believe)

 

The convos in your head and analyzing his actions/thoughts etc will pass in time.

 

Just look after yourself for now. Bit by bit, one step at a time. You'll get through all of this.

 

And a time will come when you will say to yourself "Wow! I an so glad I went through that! It made me even more of the great person I already was!"

 

We are here for you.

 

TS

[Brownstone322]

And a time will come when you will say to yourself "Wow! I am so glad I went through that! It made me even more of the great person I already was!"

That's the great irony, though I can understand how people in the early stages of a breakup can't be expected to recognize it, not yet. Going through and surviving my latest breakup was one of the best things that ever happened to me. This kinda thing -- if you choose to learn from it -- will make you a better person.

 

If anyone needed a mid-life jolt, it was me. I think most people benefit from an upheaval to their routines every once in a while. This is something you want to push through, not skip.

[confused2010]

Awwww... I'm so sorry you're feeling down. You should definitely get some sleep. It'll make you feel better.

[MalibuOne]

Hey Paulod, aren't you nice to check up on me? I did drag myself off to work today and was reasonably productive despite getting no sleep. I bet I sleep great tonight because I plan to go for a good long walk/run between periods of torrential downpours here. It's been raining for days on end and I know this affects my mood...I'm a sun worshipper in a big way. I did manage to shave my legs - lol! Tomorrow I may even shoot for make up, but no guarantees on that one.

 

Four months and you're still having down times, huh? Damn, I was hoping to be well beyond that at that point. I'm just waiting for a day to go by where I suddenly look up and it's like, hey! I didn't think about him once today. That'll be quite the milestone.

[MalibuOne]

I hope you are reading this AFTER a good sleep

 

Fortunately...I repeat, fortunately we do not have a skip button.

 

this way we experience the joyful pain of the entire process, without which we would not emerge wiser, emotionally stronger and more intelligent as well as a whole lot sexier (I believe)

 

The convos in your head and analyzing his actions/thoughts etc will pass in time.

 

Just look after yourself for now. Bit by bit, one step at a time. You'll get through all of this.

 

And a time will come when you will say to yourself "Wow! I an so glad I went through that! It made me even more of the great person I already was!"

 

We are here for you.

 

TS

Joyful pain? Sounds like an oxymoron to me, but I'll defer to your wisdom. I will say that I am/have learned a great deal about myself through this ordeal. In the past, I would have done the whole "convincing" thing...I.e., trying to convince him that what he's feeling makes absolutely no sense and that we should stick it out. Instead, I let him go with barely a murmur of protest because I know that you just can't get blood from a rock. If he says he needs to get his head right over his ex gf (I was an inadvertent rebound) then he has to do that even though I'm pretty sure that they are destined to relive yet another breakup if they reconcile. But what I think doesn't matter...this is his show, not mine, right? All I can do is remove myself from his life and let him see what his life will be like without me. He has said he knows he will look back on this someday and regret breaking up with me and I believe that to be true. But. If that actually happens, I may or may not be willing to try again. All I know is that I've learned to recognize that I am fragile in my down periods and would probably do or say anything to have him back if it weren't for my steadfast resolve to only be with someone who truly wants all of me...not just part. That, and the outlet I find on this site with the really great support of total strangers...I'm still bemused by that aspect of it all.

[paulod]

Hola Malibu!!

have you gone for a walk/run??? do it if not! I like running when it rains lol!! love the sun though!!! makes everything so much better!

 

glad you shaved your legs lol!!! how d'ya feel??now get some makeup on and take on the world!!!

 

hey it just depends on the person you are, you may get over him in days, weeks....maybe months, who knows!!! but all you can do is, just look after yourself, be strong and get some sleep! have you slept yet??

[MalibuOne]

Hola Malibu!!

have you gone for a walk/run??? do it if not! I like running when it rains lol!! love the sun though!!! makes everything so much better!

 

glad you shaved your legs lol!!! how d'ya feel??now get some makeup on and take on the world!!!

 

hey it just depends on the person you are, you may get over him in days, weeks....maybe months, who knows!!! but all you can do is, just look after yourself, be strong and get some sleep! have you slept yet??

No, I'm still screwing around on here! But fine...dammit...I'll go run in the freakin' rain - lol! I think I'm the one who needs a good webslap to get my mind right today.

[paulod]

lol sounds like you gettin a bit mad!!!! good! that's positive!!!! Oh I'll give you a webslap to get you motivated...now go!!! stop screwin for now and get out there!!!

[MalibuOne]

Thanks for the slap, Paulod! I got out and went for a long walk/run. It's like going to church...you feel so much better when it's over. I have dropped some weight without even trying...I call it the silver lining fitness/diet plan.

 

And I hope you're right. I hope I get over him fast. I wanna laugh like I used to. I still feel like a shell sometimes.

[paulod]

ahhh glad you got out and did something positive and active hope you managed to get some sleep??

I know what you mean about losing weight without trying, I lost about 2 stone on the "break-up" diet lol!! look and feel better for it though!

 

You'll get over him, and you'll laugh like you used too....will take time but it will happen

[MalibuOne]

Day 11. Slept for about six hours. Hoping for better tonight. The dreams...omg...I'd forgotten about the dreams where everything is great and then you wake up to the chilling reality that nope...nothing has changed. You're still alone. I don't mind being alone, but I do mind being lonely. Going for another walk/run.