Used me???

[ashash]

Would you ever take someone back who, although had always treated you very nice (and you were a ***** at times in the relationship), broke up with you by saying that "Im just not happy anymore" and "I didnt mean to use you", while crying? I also know that there is someone else (GIGS, he doesnt know I know). Accepted break up nicely, told him he deserved to be happy, hope we could be friends. NC for a little over 2 weeks. 5 yr relationship. I cant believe he hasnt even texted me a "hope you're doing okay".

[kevyl]

Welcome to the forum, im in the exact same situation as you! Not that that will make you feel any better

[pinkelephant]

I think they're confused and overly emotional.. it's only been 2 weeks. Definitely do not recommend sitting around and waiting for them to change their minds, although it's natural to think (day dream?) that they do and all will be well.

 

It's best if you just start to let yourself process what went wrong.

 

 

It's not wrong to take them back, but that's really circumstantial.

[Iakasot]

Would you ever take someone back who, although had always treated you very nice (and you were a ***** at times in the relationship), broke up with you by saying that "Im just not happy anymore" and "I didnt mean to use you", while crying? I also know that there is someone else (GIGS, he doesnt know I know). Accepted break up nicely, told him he deserved to be happy, hope we could be friends. NC for a little over 2 weeks. 5 yr relationship. I cant believe he hasnt even texted me a "hope you're doing okay".

 

He wouldn't cry if he didn't need to be NC and away from you too not to hurt. Just saying...

 

A lot of people have it worse, their dumper keeps talking to them, and telling them how much she/he cares for them and misses them and wants them back without the intention of taking them back. They get strung along, sometimes intentionally sometimes not intentionally, but lots of people get hurt by this.

 

And besides...You don't need him asking you if you're okay, you got the whole ENA forum for that

 

Welcome to the "internetz"...I mean E-NotAlone.

 

Cheer up.

[star555]

okay, I'm going through the same thing as you. But I'm a lil furthur along. Same thing with my ex GIGS. Left and we did not talk for 3 weeks. I contacted him after 3 weeks he said he didnt think it was a good time for us to talk as things were still too new. So another 3 weeks and he contacts me and we have been talking about every other day. You have to give him time and give yourself time.

[ashash]

I will never, ever contact him again. By all means, I was not a perfect person in the relationship, and he still treated me great, but I cannot believe he said that he used me (2 days before breakup we had sex, if you knew you werent going to stay with me, what kind of a ***** would do that??? I feel filthy...disgusting, like trash.), and didnt come out and tell me there was someone else. I was so nice about the break up. Told him he deserved to be happy, didnt act mad at all. I hope he feels guilty. IF he ever contacts me again, idk what ill do, but I will never start the conversation.

 

Also, if he really cared about this other girl, he would have never fooled around with me. This is just sad. I know what his immediate future is going to be like. Hell. Although he has no idea. He is about to go to school but everything around him is going to collapse, because I tried to explain to him that he doesnt have the money to back him up (he is not intelligent). But, as he said, "You think you know everything, and you don't." No, but I know how to use a calculator.

[Iakasot]

I will never, ever contact him again. I cannot believe he said that he didnt mean to use me (2 days before breakup we had sex, if you knew you werent going to stay with me, what kind of a ***** would do that???), and didnt come out and tell me there was someone else. I was so nice about the break up. Told him he deserved to be happy, didnt act mad at all. I hope he feels guilty. IF he ever contacts me again, idk what ill do, but I will never start the conversation.

 

Wow, you seem a lot more bitter than I originally thought. I thought you were cool and level headed about it.

 

May I bring your attention to this:

had always treated you very nice (and you were a ***** at times in the relationship)

 

Suddenly he's the bad guy now?

[ashash]

Wow, you seem a lot more bitter than I originally thought. I thought you were cool and level headed about it.

 

May I bring your attention to this:

 

 

Suddenly he's the bad guy now?

 

 

I'm bitter because he dropped off the face of the earth after nearly 6 years. We weren't just bf/gf, we were best friends. On top of everything, he uses my body, and then throws me away like old news. I would have been way cooler if he hadn't lied, and used me. I would even feel better if he sent a little, "hey, hope you're ok" text. I thought he was a better person than this.

 

 

Thnks for responses everyone.

[Iakasot]

I'm bitter because he dropped off the face of the earth after nearly 6 years. We weren't just bf/gf, we were best friends. On top of everything, he uses my body, and then throws me away like old news. I would have been way cooler if he hadn't lied, and used me. I would even feel better if he sent a little, "hey, hope you're ok" text. I thought he was a better person than this.

 

 

Thnks for responses everyone.

 

He IS a better person. "I'm sorry for using you" is just guilt from breaking up with you. I honestly think you're reading too much into it. Remember, he's the one who was always nice to you, and you acted capricious (euphemism for the word you used in your post) a lot of times. I'm sure if he acted the way you did when you were capricious you'd have dumped him pretty quick, because look at how quick you are to turn on him from one thing that he said. He had SIX years of that to deal with. It starts to wear on a guy eventually...

 

Because he broke up with you, that doesn't invalidate the 6 years of your relationship (during which he was the more stable partner), and doesn't make the relationship mean nothing.

 

I think saying this to you is important, because you need to go NC for the right reasons, not because "he's such a horrible person omg", but to heal. Bitterness won't get you anywhere, remember that.

 

Also, don't wish failure on him, and try to predict it. Maybe he's with someone who could make him happy again. You did say you wanted him to be happy, are you taking that back now?