Need Confidence!

[Steve333]

I'm 15 and have been out with a few girls before- i have never really had a 'serious' relationship - i dont really want a deadly serious one! My problem is, however, that for some reason i have absolutely no confidence with women! I cant understand why not, either, as nearly every girl i have asked out in the past has accepted! Also, I need a better way of asking girls out - as 'Do you want to go out with me' is pretty lame! The only way i seem 2 be able to ask girls out at the moment is on msn - which makes me pretty lame as i am 2 embarresed to do it face 2 face!

[Gilgamesh]

Doesnt sound like your doing so bad if your having success. the internet is just a modern way of communicating and is pretty accepted, the girls you have been asking out via MSN may feel more comfortable when you ask them out that way.

 

If it aint broke, dont fix it.

 

Now if your having confidence problems during a date, thats a different issue.

 

But i dont see anything wrong with asking a girl out using the PC, thousands of people date and even get married through the net.

 

If your still bent on doing some cold walk ups, just do it! its a numbers game, if you walkup to 10 girls and 6 say yes, you now have 6 dates, dont worry about the ones that said no, just dont act sad or depressed, the attitide you need to have, is that you are doing them a favor by asking them out! if they say no, just say, no problem, just thought you were the kind of person that liked to meet new people, maybe another day, thank you, smile and walk away. when that girl sees you again with someone else, she will know that shes the one that lost out.

 

Remember the attitude, Your doing them the favor, and you couldnt care less if they say no or not, dont make excuses for being a man, the girls expect you to do the asking!. always be polite! smile, whether they say yes or no.

[cookies]

I agree, if its not broke, dont try fixing it. You seem to be doing good to me too. I also think that if youve had this much success with getting positive responses by asking them out, how can it be so difficult in person, versus online? u may be a little shy, but that can be worked on the more you smile at a lady, say hi..and the conversation will come more natural than u may imagine.

 

I do not believe in myself as a lady, to ask a guy out. Thats innappropraite in my views,...but there are some women taht does this...but if a relationship depends on me to develop by asking a guy out,..i will probably end up single for the rest of my life...because i feel that if a woman persues a man, its surely doomed to fail...its against my natural instincts of how it is suppose to go.

 

thats my view, but may not be others view tho...

 

good luck

 

cookies

[SwingFox]

I also would like to welcome you to the year 2003, where internet is an accepted and convenient way to talk to each other and even do more. The possibilities are already endless, although the end has not yet been reached.

 

eNotalone.com has a wide range of articles regarding conversational tips for shy people. I tend to believe that you are a little shy, not really knowing whether you're saying the right thing.

[Eddie]

Chat up lines are the biggest no no in any girl's long list. But if you need better ways of asking a girl out than 'do you want to go out with me?', just learn to use your imagination - this does not mean your cheesiness.

 

An example...I once wanted to ask a girl out and wanted to ask her in a special way so after having our usual conversation on the train on the way home from school, I said goodbye, got off the train, and then when it started moving, I let her see through the window that I was thinking deeply about something, then jumped back on the moving train and shouted accross the carriage to her...'by the way, I forgot...I think you're amazing and I want to take you out somewhere this weekend. Let me know what you think tomorrow!' and I jumped off the train again. A couple of people clapped. She was a little gobsmacked. It worked.

 

Another time I asked a girl out during the last night of a play we were in together...while we were both on stage together and the audience never knew...I whispered it to her when I was supposed to be whispering something else. Again, it worked.

 

Don't ask people out in writing, by text or by email...it's not a good start, it's impersonal. Make her feel unique in some way and you will be successful. If it takes a bit of planning to give the impression of spontaneity, so be it. She'll appreciate it either way. All girls want to feel like they're in a movie or a song.

 

Good luck.