Please pray for me

[bfdghdfg]

For those who are religious please pray for me that I will have quick painless death soon.

[MikNomis]

Don't do that to yourself. Just think of it this way: There are plenty of people in the world that are in worse situations than you, yet they are able to live on, some even happily. Try to find out how they are able to do this, and adopt that attitude.

 

And anyway, why would anyone pray for death for you? Haha it almost sounds like a murderous intention.

[Sunny1607307996]

I will pray that you think twice about what you're doing, realize it is a huge mistake, and get yourself the help that you need so you can realize life is really amazing.

 

Are you still there? Please talk to us. What's going on in your life?

[bfdghdfg]

There are plenty of people in the world that are in worse situations than you, yet they are able to live on, some even happily. Try to find out how they are able to do this, and adopt that attitude.

 

People are different, I can't be other people

 

why would anyone pray for death for you? Haha it almost sounds like a murderous intention

 

For me it's more like salvation

 

realize it is a huge mistake, and get yourself the help that you need so you can realize life is really amazing.

 

While I can't deny that suicide may be a mistake and there's amazing things in life I've reached my limit.

It's been more than one year since my first suicide attempt and it's getting very hard for me to do it again, nevertheless if I can't suicide I won't live either

 

What's going on in your life

 

I've been bullied for as long as I can remember

Both my parents are abusive

My father died more than 2 years ago and my mother remarried secretly with an a$$hole

Drop out of college about 1,5 year ago

I have a weak body and an ugly face

[Sunny1607307996]

If you're old enough to go to college, you're old enough to get away from abusive parents and live on your own. It's entirely possible, so don't tell me you cannot afford it. You may have to live frugally but you can live on your own and then you won't have to deal with abusive parents.

 

You can always go back to school. Apply for loans and scholarships. Many schools also have free counseling services. What do you want to study? What is your dream job?

 

As far as your body and face...you need a serious dose of self-love. Everybody looks funny. Even Tyra Banks will be the first to admit she has a huge forehead. Everybody has physical flaws and the trick is to love yourself in spite of them. A weak body isn't even permanent! That's completely fixable if you exercise and eat right - doing both of these things will help curb your depression as well.

 

Stand up to whoever is bullying you. They can't make you feel small unless you let them.

 

I know with your dad dying and having a rough life makes you want to quit but this is the real test of character: perseverance. Life isn't always cupcakes and unicorns, there are rough spots too. You just have to push through the rough spots, learn to love your self, and get some professional help.

 

I know you don't want to kill yourself, not really. I know this because you found this site and reached out for help.

 

How old are you? Have you ever been in therapy before?

[bfdghdfg]

If you're old enough to go to college, you're old enough to get away from abusive parents and live on your own. It's entirely possible, so don't tell me you cannot afford it. You may have to live frugally but you can live on your own and then you won't have to deal with abusive parents.

 

I have no skill and I'm depressed, I can't work

 

You can always go back to school. Apply for loans and scholarships. Many schools also have free counseling services. What do you want to study? What is your dream job?

 

Going to school and bullied again makes me squirm, as for scholarship I'm way out of the requirement. I used to study computer science and I'm the dumbest student in my class, as for dream I want to be IT professional.

 

As far as your body and face...you need a serious dose of self-love. Everybody looks funny. Even Tyra Banks will be the first to admit she has a huge forehead. Everybody has physical flaws and the trick is to love yourself in spite of them. A weak body isn't even permanent! That's completely fixable if you exercise and eat right - doing both of these things will help curb your depression as well.

 

Nobody's perfect but me is a bit too much. My ugly face and

weak body are congenital. Nothing I can do to fix them.

 

Stand up to whoever is bullying you. They can't make you feel small unless you let them

 

I'm weak physically and mentally, when I ask for help they call me a weenie

 

I know with your dad dying and having a rough life makes you want to quit but this is the real test of character: perseverance. Life isn't always cupcakes and unicorns, there are rough spots too. You just have to push through the rough spots, learn to love your self, and get some professional help.

 

My dad is abusive, drunkard, gambler, womanizer, you name all the bad things and you'll find it in him, the only thing he's good at is working. He's the one hurt me the most, it's a pity that he died before I can take my revenge upon him.

I can't push myself anymore, I've done that already

As for professional help I'm in Indonesia, mental care is awful even the professional one and it's very rare and expensive

 

I know you don't want to kill yourself, not really. I know this because you found this site and reached out for help.

 

I don't want to kill myself I just can't live

 

How old are you? Have you ever been in therapy before?

 

I'm male 23, Never been in therapy because in Indonesia the stigma of therapy patient is demeaning besides as I said before mental care here is awful and expensive totally not worth it

[Sunny1607307996]

I still think you should look back into going to school. I know there's a program out there for you, you just have to find it. Do you have any types of online programs? Maybe you can take an online course from a different country even?

 

I'm sorry to hear about the things you dad did. At least he cannot hurt you anymore.

 

I forget sometimes that people here are from all over the world...here in America there is less of a social stigma about mental health (Maybe you should move here!)

 

But re-read your post and look at how negative it is. There's a lot of "I can't" in there. I know that's just the depression talking, and I know this because I've crawled out of the deep dark hole of depression myself quite a few times. But you have to learn to break free of the I can't/I don't know how/I'm too stupid/I'm too ugly mentality. I know that it's hard and I struggled with it for years but I believe in you and I know you can beat this.

 

You just need to start thinking more positively. Start with just one thing. Like school. Just for today research some schools or jobs in the IT field you would be good for. That's all! Just one day, you did one good thing for yourself. You really can do anything if you want it badly enough.

 

Maybe tomorrow you go for a walk. It'll help clear your head and the only way for you to feel better mentally and physically is to actually do some exercise. But for tomorrow, just start out with a walk.

 

It's all about baby steps. You won't get your dream job overnight. You won't start loving yourself overnight. But it all starts with baby steps, breaking bad habits.

 

When you look in the mirror look at yourself and refuse to think bad thoughts. Tell yourself out loud one thing that you like about yourself. And don't tell me you can't think of anything --I can tell from you posts you are kind, intelligent, and a very giving person. I know you can think of one good thing about yourself.

 

They say it's always darkest before dawn.

[bfdghdfg]

Thank you for your reply

I really appreciate your effort to improve myself but I'm just at my limit.

I don't know what to say anymore so this is it

Thank you and goodbye

[MikNomis]

Good luck and goodbye.

[lostinthehaze]

No. Don't do it.

DON'T.

Please?