helping a pessimistic person

[ltensail]

how do i help someone who has negative views on her/his life? A real life situation : she will always think that she will fail for her mathematics test. and her prediction was right. she's really weak in maths. other than providing me with solutions for this situation, i would also appreciate general solutions to all kinds of pessimistic problems. thx.

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

Nice you want to help... I'll be direct, okay?

 

The first thing is to find out if she wants your help or even change what is happening in her.

 

That's the very first step. You can see pessimism as a something you would not like for yourself but she might be comfortable with it herself. Unless she "wakes up" and actively decides to do something about it, there is nothing you can do...

 

Why is that? because that's her mind set. It is the architecture she works with. It's intimately anchored in her and she won't shift it unless she realise that it is self destructive.

 

The only thing you can do is be around and supportive. The moment you want to change her, she'll naturally protect her "territory" and not go for it.

 

You see, it is the same as with addictions, or negative mind sets. You can help someone the moment they want to be helped. It must be their agenda, not yours.

 

Find this out first.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[bleeder]

Hi Itensail,

 

Say these four words to her, "I Will, I Can".

 

We cannot achieve any results when the brain has already made up its mind about failing. A positive attitude begets positive results. Make her see that she's capable of much more if she only puts her mind to it.

 

All the best!