Problems With Anger

[anonymousone]

I am a female 18 years of age and i consider myself to be a very lucky person with a family that loves me and a best friend and other friends that i know care a lot about me. However i feel very guilty because despite these things all i feel is pessimistic about everything and i worry about a lot of things, about failing about being alone about evrything. One of the problems that only my family and my bst friend have experienced is that when i become angry, its like my entire personality changes and although i know i can control my anger i feel like i need to let it out to feel better or to let the people i love know how i am feeling. I dont get angry a lot but i let things build up and sometimes i turn stupid things into something major. When i do get angry i explode somethings hitting or punching, screaming and feeling burnt out inside I feel as though i want to grab on to who ever i am angry with and hurt them yet at the same time im screaming inside for them to hit me back and tell me to pull it together. When i do go into this angry state it often becomes a violent outburst in whic i hurt myself and others. I do not mean to hurt them. I dont know why i do it and i try hard to stop it from happening but i get so angry and i feel the need to relase the anger. I hate being alone in a room or at home and i am always trying to get away so that i am not alone. I feel lost and unsure of anything. I dont know what to do or how to make myself feel better Just need someones help ?

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

I can imagine how it feels. Congratulations for realising you want to do something about it.

 

Anger is okay. It is a way of freeing yourself when the energies become too constricting. It is simply an overflow of energy.

 

The limit is if you hurt others or yourself. The best way is to channel that force in another way. Anger is fighting power. Fighting is okay. It is part of your nature and your instincts. It is part of your survival drive.

 

The challenge is to use that energy in a different way. You could be training for martial arts, doing some kick boxing or even start your own business. The moment you do, you use that energy in a constructive way, to open doors, move forward, challenge yourself and simply grow as a human being.

 

In my experience, trying to suppress it does not work. It's like a volcano which wants to explode, right?

 

The skill is to learn how to channel this energy in constructive ways.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

 

PS: contact me directly if you want extra feed back or tips with that email removed

[tainted_soul]

well, whatever you do, don't take it out on yourself, people don't like that....and don't take it out on other people, people don't like that....and don't take it out on the trees in your backyard, people don't like that, either.

so, basically, you have a lot of anger, with no real focus (that's what i got out of the whole thing, correct me if i'm wrong). sometimes anger can build up from just everything that you have to deal with, little things here and there (or all the time). after a while, with those little things, you start to feel like you have no control over your life. my reaction is being real pissed off. cause that sucks. and you feel guilty(which can make you feel alternately depressed and angry) because you can't find any reason for being angry and there's nothing to (logically) take it out on, so you just bottle it up till you can't anymore, and then whatever's handy becomes the target for all that anger.

well, here's my advice, take it or leave it. if what i just said has any relevance to what you're feeling, then probably (probably) you need to take a step back and identify all the little things, and make a decision about whether they really matter to you. if you're trying to conform to everyone's little expectations, the littlest thing can make you feel like you've screwed up big. if you put so much importance on not making mistakes, then the tiniest thing can seem like you've ruined your life, and a big mistake can make you feel like the world's ending and you might as well die. and that ain't no fun.

all this is really trying to get to the root of the problem, and it's all really just a shot in the dark (i hate cliches....ugh). i'm probably way off.

also, figuring out the above could take a lot of time. if you want to stop hurting people (and yourself) then you need to find something to focus all your excess anger on, no matter where it comes from. something harmless. excercise, something to hit, a hobby to distract yourself....listening to coldplay never hurts. find what works for you.