Life is just a BIG TEASE!

[TruBlu06]

Hello All,

 

I havent visited this site in a while, but recently, well today, I just had something very hurtful happen to me. I have been dating this guy for a couple months, our chemistry is very strong, we have the same goals, our communication is so on point and I just feel on top of the world when Im with him. I have never been the one to fall for someone so quickly, Im usually the hard ass, who likes to interrogate a man, before getting serious, but he has changed that all for me. I have never found someone that I connected with on just soooo many levels. I actually saw and still see a future with this man.

 

Well today, after not hearing from him last night, which was odd, he explained to me that we could no longer continue our relationship. Why? Because he needs to tend to his family.

 

I totally understand, his mother has cervical cancer, and she is the only one who has cared for him. The relationship he has with his mother is just grand, but within the last couple of months, she has had to be rushed to the hospital for surgery. I have offered my support to him. I'm genuinely sorry about his mother's situation.

 

I really care for this man, and I just dont want to lose him. I know there is nothing I can do. It is really to the point where I will wait for him, because I feel so strongly for him.

 

My main concern is how can I be there, without being to over baring? I want to show my support, but I do still want to give him his space, because I truly care for him?

 

Any responses will be appreciated...

 

Thank you..

[Guest]

Call, ask him about his mom. How good is the relationship? You think you can visit mom, or would that be too much?

[CaptainNapalm]

Sorry this happened to you but his reason for temporary exit from the relationship is legit. Some people prefer the support of a loved one during times of crisis while others withdraw and like to handle things individually. Just because you can't be his girlfriend at the moment, doesn't mean you can't be his friend. With that said it's important to give him space to deal with his mother's illness and do some thinking but it's equally as important to show your support. You can do this by periodically and consistently getting in touch with him via text or prompt phone call to see how his mother is doing, how he's doing and if there is anything he needs. It's imperative that you don't push for the relationship during this time and focus your energy as being there for him as a friend otherwise you will come off as selfish and get nowhere with him. Above all, be patient and good things will happen.

[fuddiduddy]

 

My main concern is how can I be there, without being to over baring? I want to show my support, but I do still want to give him his space, because I truly care for him?

 

Any responses will be appreciated...

 

Thank you..

 

 

That, ^^ up there is exactly what you should tell him.

 

I was/am in almost EXACTLY the same scenario, except it was my ex himself facing a health issue that caused him to want to end the relationship. I, too, believe(d) and hoped that it's just temporary.

 

Forgive me for briefly hijacking, but I have something for CaptainNapalm: Your advice is so spot on. In my situation, however, I lost my patience and exploded on him for his distance. BAD MISTAKE. He eventually (and angrily) told me to "not text or call him again!" Detailed thread here:

 

Do you think I've ruined every bit of goodwill between us, i.e., is it likely he'll get over that anger (it was more annoyance)? I really, really just don't want him hating me over that, especially since I really do care for him and want to come back. I've apologized to him but, predictably, I havent heard back.

[valenski]

He doesnt trust you in his time of grief? Sounds like you two havent been together long and he doesnt what you to see him at his most vulnerable. You could wait for him to come around, he might as well as he might not, my advice decide definitively move on or wait. If you're gonna wait, dont sit down and wait do stuff to distract yourself, things you enjoy.